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contact with the POWER that fuels my recovery is my calm in the midst of any storm.
last night in the meeting i shared that is was not a **GOD** guy, so why in the world am i sharing about a topic that is inherently **GOD**like, this morning.
my spiritual path, and i do have one, does not rely on mystery while it does rely on FAITH. although, i find the whole concept of **GOD** that i grew up with distasteful, i have discovered that there is some POWER that does keep me clean. that POWER does not need to be quantified or qualified, for me, it is enough that i understand that it does exist and provides me the opportunity to GET everything i NEED today, including the peace of mind that if i DO the next right thing, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
my need to be instantly gratified has been diminished across the course of my recovery, but it has not been taken away, so living with the HOPE of a reward in the so-called hereafter, is something that still rubs me wrong. so after that breif diversion into the divine according to Don, i may actually ready to move forwrad with the topic at hand.
the reading speaks about the turmoil in the world as being far removed, and yes there are events that are earth shattering going on every minute of every day, worldwide, there are very few that directly impact my life in the here and now. i have developed a filter or two that takes away the stress of being concerned about stuff i have very little power or control over in the here and now. climate change, economic turmoil, natural and man-made disasters can be heinous and yes as i stay clean and reengage in the wrold around me, i feel sympathy, empathy and sadness for the pain of life as it affects humankind in general. those feelings, i guess, are part of being human, and are a gift from a life in active recovery. when i let myself get swept away in the tsunami of emotion about that which i can affect little change over, i cut myself off from the POWER that fuels my recovery, and i start to have the itch to change the way i feel, one way or another. i CAN feel and i CAN let go and allow the world to spin as it will. i can also take what action i can to affect the world in my immediate vicinity. so i take the bus, give away the gifts that recovery has given me, and generally reduce the chaos that i cause just waliking on this side of the dirt. bit by bit, i have FAITH that those constructive actions will have some sort of minor butterfly effect, and at least make this little part of the world tolerable and yes acceptable for those around me. when i allow myself to drift into the divine, by listening for the voice of the POWER that fuels my recovery, no matter what the means or modes that voice chooses to express ITSELF in, i get the peace and serenity that using once gave me, without paying the price of dulling my emotions and my intellect. i can pay it forward, as the idiom goes, knowing full well, that by doing so, i am reducing the constant chatter of disaster that is life in the modern world.
recovery allows me to sample the spiritual without paying a price that religion and dogma exact. i can be open to ideas, no matter how far-fetched they seem to my rational, scientific self and grow. so as i wind down thsi morning, what i really hoped to say, is that yes i find peace in SOMETHING i do not understand or can explain. i have FAITH that the POWER that fuels my recovery has my back and i walk forward secure that although i am not privy to the plan, more of it will be revealed as the day goes on. i can and will walk forward doing my best, to see and do the next right thinh, just for today.

∞ DT ∞