Blog entry for:

is evidence of a spiritual awakening. amazing as it is, watching an addict come from active addiction and accept active recovery as part of their life, it is just as disconcerting watching the parade in and out of the rooms. although i do my best to be hopeful and give all of those who walk through our doors the benefit of the doubt, i know exactly what the statistics are, and i see validation of those grim facts every day.
okay, a bit morose there, so early in the morning time to shift to something a slight bit more HOPEFUL.

REECE MY FRIEND and SPONSEE
A DECADE CLEAN!
THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO WITNESS YOUR TRANSFORMATION

ah much better!
so looking for the evidence of a spirit awakening? well, i know i miss such events when i am looking at myself. it is most often way after the fact and most of the time someone else NEEDS to point it out to me. i am not unique in this, as a matter of fact, i see it all around me constantly, as i am often the one pointing out spiritual growth in others. be that as it may, and it certainly is, what i heard this morning is HOW evidence of this miracle is showing up in my life, and HOW by seeing the growth of others I CAN SEE the growth within myself. it has been one helluva a ride, from being forced into the rooms, accepting that maybe i have a problem, to growing the FAITH that IF i keep it up i will become more than i ever dreamed possible. the extension of this is that IF this could happen for me, there is the same chance it CAN happen for anyone who chooses to come to this program of recovery, and if i stick around i GET to watch it happen.
enough of the Susie Sunshine stuff, what is also running through my head is the flip side of this proposition, the dark side, that not all of us, who have the desire to get clean and find a new manner of living actually succeed at making the adjustments necessary for recovery to take hold. i am not speaking about the adjustments to my time or schedule. what i am talking about was the adjustment of my ideas as to the nature of addiction and what it really does to me. i understand how hard it is to admit that i am powerless over my addiction. i also understand how hard it is to move from that admission into finding HOPE from somewhere else. i am of the opinion, that those who walk in and out of the rooms over and over again, somehow think that they are unique and because they are so different they believe they NEED NOT do what thousands before than have done. i believe this because that was at one time me, and i almost floated right out recovery in a haze of chemical bliss. i had motive, i had opportunity and i had the resources. and yet, something stopped me. call it a HIGHER POWER, call it behaving my way to better thinking or call it a miracle, the truth is that i am here because what could have been, did not happen. i FINALLY GOT what recovery was all about for me. THAT WAS MY VERY FIRST SIGN of my spirit awakening. i am glad there were members here to witness that transformation and to foster my growth along that path. i am also grateful that i stuck around long enough for that particular miracle to occur, since from that my life in active recovery was born.
anyhow, i am running a bit late after a very productive morning, so it is off to the shower and into town for some quick errands and such. i am glad i can recover today, one day at a time.

∞ DT ∞