Blog entry for:

once upon a very long time ago, that was the best way to describe my spiritual condition. i was battered, bruised and certain that i was beyond repair, even as i tried to deny that i was an addict. when i finally pulled my head out of my a$$, the sonic boom was loud enough to wake me up to how dire my spiritual condition truly was. that experience still haunts me and when i see my newest peers struggling to find a place in this “hybrid” fellowship in plague times, i remember how important the human contact was for me. my HOPE is that i am active enough in reaching out to them, that they can find some connection. speaking of connection:

Reese F.
2 DECADES of JFTs
Congrats, my friend!

the reading reminded me that the longer i stay clean, the longer the parade of those who come and “get” it, seems to grow. that does not mean that every addict i see that walks in the door, sticks. i do get sad when someone i am trying to develop a connection with, decides to return to the using life, or scrapes along the bottom in the twilight of addiction and knowing that there may be a solution. it is true that watching others grow into the people they were always meant to be, is exhilarating and joyful. sitting here comfortably ensconced in more than a few days clean, i wonder what i need to do, to help those who are living in the world between addiction and recovery, lift themselves up. is my service to the fellowship, right here and right now, to be there as an inspiration and move into the “Susie Sunshine” mode of sharing? or perhaps it is just to show up and be me and not worry about who is or is not getting what it is i am sharing about. with that choice on the top of my mind, i do believe i will get back to work and let go of finding THE ANSWER to that question and let the POWER that fuels my recovery, put the solution on to my heart, just for today.

∞ DT ∞