Blog entry for:

staying clean and finding a new way to live. this miraculous turnabout is evidence of a spiritual awakening, speaking of which i would be remiss if i did not call out a clean date this morning before i really get rolling…

REESE F, amazing, dude 9 years CLEAN!
You are an inspiration to me!

i do like the whole synergy of writing about witnessing the miracle and having to call out another clean date anniversary every year. after what i have been feeling this weekend, i am more hopeful than ever that this sh!t works, and will continue to work, if i allow it it.
so what have been feeling this weekend? a bit of sorrow as i watched the effects of active addiction on a member’s life. the denial, the justification, the obsession, the substitution and the inevitable consequences. the more i watched and the more i tried to help, the worse it became, and finally i had to work the first three steps over it and accept that at this time, the situation is what it is, and is unlikely to change very much. it is not up to me to free someone else from active addiction, no matter how much i care, no matter how hard i try and no matter how intensely i pray. my job is to offer my support, be there as needed and PATIENTLY wait for the miracle to happen, which for me is tough to do. not because it is all that complex, actually it is quite a simple task, no it it is just hard to stand by and let someone spin down the tubes, by their own volition and in full possession of all their faculties.
so this morning it is quite a relief to think about the miracle of recovery and look for examples in the lives around me. there are many examples, Reese for instance. he is recovering in a community that offers very little in the way of support for our particular fellowship. there were times when he was the only member in attendance at a meeting, and he kept coming back, ready to carry our message and witness the miracle for himself. his perseverance has paid off, and the seed he nurtured is starting to grow into a thriving community. from the vision of a single addict, unwilling to let our message get folded into another 12 step program, to the reality of an Area Service Committee, starting to provide services to the still suffering and preparing to be a full participant in the service structure, is just part of the miracle i get to be witness to, on a daily basis.
i could go on and on about specific instances, however i need to get down in the dungeon and work out. which in and of itself is yet another example of the miracle being manifest in the life of a recovering addict. after all, in active addiction i did not care if i had a long and comfortable life. it is only the gift of recovery, that has inspired me to take care of my physical self as well as my spiritual self. so on that note, i will say that i am grateful to be a part of the miracle of recovery as well as a witness to the miracle happening around me on a daily basis. it is a wonderful day to be a participate.

∞ DT ∞