Blog entry for:

to outside situations and other people. when i do, i may find that i am suffering from a plain old **bad attitude.**
well, i am doing this a bit later than normal this morning, as the tiny bit of work i had to do, before coming to work, took a bit longer than i expected.
WAH-WAH-WAH
i can and did take an inventory about this reaction and i found out that in this case, it was the same old sh!t, unmet expectations, that was causing my distress. it is true, that the problem i was trying to solve, was after all, not my stuff. i KNEW that and wanted to say so. instead i worked through the issue, eliminating as many of the outside variables and the problem still was present. so often, that is the case, but UNLESS, i step up and do my best to take care of what is my stuff, all i have is an assumption and not a very good one at that.
that little bon mot, applied not only in my professional life, but my personal life and my recovery life as well. so often, i ASSUME that i have eliminated all of the stuff that i am truly and really responsible for, only to find out that i have not even scratched the surface. this morning, i have satisfies all the conditions of the problem i was working on, by following direction to the letter and yet the problem persists. by taking the time to sort out the issues in my life, i often discover that is not the case. instead of taking direction, i end-up interpreting, reading between the lines and just plain doing what i want to do anyhow. kind of like someone who thinks they know something about recovery and is unwilling to take any sort of direction from another person or even the POWER that fuels my recovery.
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT.
there certainly is a solution for all of that, and it is not acting-out in bad behavior that only reinforces my bad attitude. the solution? just as the reading suggested, THE STEPS! mainly the first three, applied in my daily life. understanding what power i have, looking for a different way of thinking about the problem and allowing the POWER that fuels my recovery to take care of my will and my life. by doing that, i can surrender my bad attitude as well, and look for the comfort that i DO have power but that power flows from the POWER that fuels my recovery.
with that in mind, i will allow myself the FREEDOM to choose a different manner of living in the here and now and get back to the task at hand, WORK!

∞ DT ∞