โ one of the ways i can search for truth in recovery is to write โ
Posted: Wed, May 9, 2012 06:42:29 AM
and write i do, every single day. all of you get the added bonus of reading what i am writing as well. it is true that i am often a cheerleader, or march to the party line, but every now and again, something worthwhile slips out of my mind and through the keyboard and into the permanent record that my blog has become. i really have no illusions about what this exercise is anymore, although at one time, i was hoping for an audience of thousands, today i am content with a dozen or so, reading me on a semi-regular basis, as this has morphed into something different than i once envisioned.
there really is no step work, or deep and dark insights into the psyche of this addict, who is also a human being, that is just for you Andrew. i really do not believe the mechanical action of typing in any compares to the physical act of writing. somehow, when i put pen to paper, as the saying goes, there seems to be more permanence and resolution. here, when i type it out, it feels like i just get it out and no processing goes on. anyhow, just as my counselors in treatment said, and like every sponsor has said since, when it comes to step writing it is the pen to paper method and not the typing method that is the most effective, and i find that true, after days on end of resisting what seemed like such a silly notion.
so now that i am done reminiscing and theorizing, what action do i intend to take today. will i be writing anything, or will i just be blowing smoke up everyone's ass, saying TODAY i will finally stop stalling and do some actual writing. well i could say that and really mean that, however until i get there, i just do not know and am making NO promises that i will once again flake out on. in fact i have two on the burner for today as it is, so as today wears on, AS i get through my list of must-dos, i may find that writing about it, is the exact next right thing to do, or not.
so off to the showers and down to Denver i go, it is after all a good day to live up to my potential.
there really is no step work, or deep and dark insights into the psyche of this addict, who is also a human being, that is just for you Andrew. i really do not believe the mechanical action of typing in any compares to the physical act of writing. somehow, when i put pen to paper, as the saying goes, there seems to be more permanence and resolution. here, when i type it out, it feels like i just get it out and no processing goes on. anyhow, just as my counselors in treatment said, and like every sponsor has said since, when it comes to step writing it is the pen to paper method and not the typing method that is the most effective, and i find that true, after days on end of resisting what seemed like such a silly notion.
so now that i am done reminiscing and theorizing, what action do i intend to take today. will i be writing anything, or will i just be blowing smoke up everyone's ass, saying TODAY i will finally stop stalling and do some actual writing. well i could say that and really mean that, however until i get there, i just do not know and am making NO promises that i will once again flake out on. in fact i have two on the burner for today as it is, so as today wears on, AS i get through my list of must-dos, i may find that writing about it, is the exact next right thing to do, or not.
so off to the showers and down to Denver i go, it is after all a good day to live up to my potential.
∞ DT ∞