Blog entry for:
Sat, Jan 4, 2014 08:15:06 AM
∏ the security i find in the love of this fellowship ∏
posted: Sat, Jan 4, 2014 08:15:06 AM
has made my new life possible. looking out my window, i see the snow falling and piling up on the streets and sidewalks. the little pup, who is becoming sexually mature is sitting by my chair chewing on her bone. the house is warm, the power is turned on, the internet is connected, and i have the means today, to keep all of that from going away, at least for this month. i do have friends, family members and more than one person who loves in my life and i get to celebrate eleven years together in six days, with her. on the outside my life looks so fVcking normal i could scream. yes, i spent years rebelling against looking like one of the “sheeple.” i was angry, dark and as edgy as possible, and as a person who considered himself an intellectual, this was the sort of life i never wanted, but secretly desired with all my heart, interesting what changes when active addiction is removed from the equation. so i am more than a bit distracted this morning as i write this, so instead of trying to do two things poorly at once i will let this go for now and move over to something that keeps the lights on, as it were. it is a great day to be clean and yes i can look anyone in the eye, today thanks to the changes the program has made in me.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ releasing shame ∞ 344 words ➥ Tuesday, January 4, 2005 by: donnotα who and what i am ω 620 words ➥ Wednesday, January 4, 2006 by: donnot
↔ i was trapped in a spiral of obsession and compulsion that went only in one direction: downward. ↔ 351 words ➥ Thursday, January 4, 2007 by: donnot
… no longer am i locked up in my disease; i am free … 539 words ➥ Friday, January 4, 2008 by: donnot
μ when i was using, i could not tolerate looking someone in the eye -- i was ashamed of who i was. μ 453 words ➥ Sunday, January 4, 2009 by: donnot
∅ in active addiction i was trapped in a downward spiral of obsession and compulsion. ∅ 758 words ➥ Monday, January 4, 2010 by: donnot
• today, secure in the love of the fellowship, i can finally … 711 words ➥ Tuesday, January 4, 2011 by: donnot
β i can look anyone in the eye without shame β 213 words ➥ Wednesday, January 4, 2012 by: donnot
♥ by the example of other addicts, i was shown how to ♥ 813 words ➥ Friday, January 4, 2013 by: donnot
± when was using, my mind was not occupied ± 746 words ➥ Sunday, January 4, 2015 by: donnot
¢ the love ¢ 610 words ➥ Monday, January 4, 2016 by: donnot
👉 my journey down 👈 680 words ➥ Wednesday, January 4, 2017 by: donnot
🌈 taking a 🦄 515 words ➥ Thursday, January 4, 2018 by: donnot
👣 on being 👣 556 words ➥ Friday, January 4, 2019 by: donnot
💥 secure 💥 510 words ➥ Saturday, January 4, 2020 by: donnot
🏴 feeling freedom 🏳 650 words ➥ Monday, January 4, 2021 by: donnot
🔐 no longer 🔒 448 words ➥ Tuesday, January 4, 2022 by: donnot
📉 upward into 📈 556 words ➥ Wednesday, January 4, 2023 by: donnot
🍩 the gift 🍩 374 words ➥ Thursday, January 4, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) He who devotes himself to learning (seeks) from day to day to increase
(his knowledge); he who devotes himself to the Tao (seeks) from day
to day to diminish (his doing).