โ i approach the person i harmed โ
Posted: Sun, May 18, 2014 10:29:58 AM
and say, **i was wrong.**
amends and friendship, quite an interesting topic. it is true, that sometimes i confuse real harm from just being wrong. happens all the time, i want to minimize at times, and others, well let me just say i am quite capable of creating a mountain out of a mole hill. learning how to distinguish harm from just a gaffe, is something that this round of steps, is helping me do. as i become less, retarded in a social sense, i am finding that while i may be direct and to the point, i can also be hurtful in what should just be playful banter.
well, after taking care of my weekly tasks, i am a bit out of the flow here. as i get back into what i was saying, amends versus admitting that i was wrong. it is interesting that the TENTH STEP does NOT say promptly made amends. it specifically says “…and we we were wrong, we promptly admitted it.”
one way for me to interpret that statement, and this is my opinion only, is that directive does not preclude making an amends when i have done harm, but it does not necessarily mean that every time i step on someone's toes that i need to rush out and make a full-blown amends, sometimes, “i was wrong, i am sorry, and what can i do to make things better,” is more than enough. looking at that statement, perhaps it is an amends after all because it fits most of the criteria: i take responsibility for being wrong, ask for forgiveness and make reparations. furthermore, since i truly hate the corrective part of the TENTH STEP, i amend my behavior, so i need not go back and do it again. Not one person has ever told me that living this program was going to be easy!
anyhow, do i have to own any wrongs from yesterday? nope, things worked out well in my behavioral world. do i have any lingering amends that are tying me up in knots? not that i can detect. can i be a better friend and person? certainly and part of that means i keep my opinions about others to myself, as that is new behavior for me. time to dress out and hit the trail with the dawg, as i owe myself a huge amends for allowing myself to get fatter and lazier than i really want to be. it certainly is a great day to be clean.
amends and friendship, quite an interesting topic. it is true, that sometimes i confuse real harm from just being wrong. happens all the time, i want to minimize at times, and others, well let me just say i am quite capable of creating a mountain out of a mole hill. learning how to distinguish harm from just a gaffe, is something that this round of steps, is helping me do. as i become less, retarded in a social sense, i am finding that while i may be direct and to the point, i can also be hurtful in what should just be playful banter.
well, after taking care of my weekly tasks, i am a bit out of the flow here. as i get back into what i was saying, amends versus admitting that i was wrong. it is interesting that the TENTH STEP does NOT say promptly made amends. it specifically says “…and we we were wrong, we promptly admitted it.”
one way for me to interpret that statement, and this is my opinion only, is that directive does not preclude making an amends when i have done harm, but it does not necessarily mean that every time i step on someone's toes that i need to rush out and make a full-blown amends, sometimes, “i was wrong, i am sorry, and what can i do to make things better,” is more than enough. looking at that statement, perhaps it is an amends after all because it fits most of the criteria: i take responsibility for being wrong, ask for forgiveness and make reparations. furthermore, since i truly hate the corrective part of the TENTH STEP, i amend my behavior, so i need not go back and do it again. Not one person has ever told me that living this program was going to be easy!
anyhow, do i have to own any wrongs from yesterday? nope, things worked out well in my behavioral world. do i have any lingering amends that are tying me up in knots? not that i can detect. can i be a better friend and person? certainly and part of that means i keep my opinions about others to myself, as that is new behavior for me. time to dress out and hit the trail with the dawg, as i owe myself a huge amends for allowing myself to get fatter and lazier than i really want to be. it certainly is a great day to be clean.
∞ DT ∞