Blog entry for:
Sun, Apr 24, 2016 11:10:19 AM
≟ TWELVE steps ≟
posted: Sun, Apr 24, 2016 11:10:19 AM
to a life, or as the reading says OF life. the change i used this reflects my experience, when i got here, i certainly i had a life, in fact i was living THE life. i had work, i had family, i had party buddies, i had friends and i had decided to forgo any sort of long-term emotional or romantic relationships, and though t that bi was happy. as long as there a little sumthin', sumthin' in my daily routine, life was perfect. what a shock getting clean and staying clean was to my system and even though oi battled the recovery process, tooth and nail, i eventually found my one and true home in the 12 step fellowship i am a part of today. quite honestly i would drive a hundred miles out of my way to go to a meeting of this fellowship, rather than attend a meeting of any other 12 step fellowship, because i do not fit into their definitions of who there members are, were or should be. i am not a fellowship voyeur, nor do i head on other to see how the other side lives. for me, there is only one set of 12 STEPS and that is the steps as written and interpreted by the fellowship that has given me this life. i have no illusions about what i am. i am an addict, through and through and without some sort of structure and force more powerful than addiction i would be exactly where i was, at the minimum, and more than likely a whole lot worse.
way back when i first started this set of steps, i was certain that i was pretty well “fixed.” i had a full life, i had friends, a career, a long-term relationship, material success and emotional stability. sure there were a few things wrong that i felt i would just have to accept, but all in all, i had a life that was far beyond my wildest dreams. as i worked this set of steps, i uncovered a major reservation about how far i thought i could go, emotionally and spiritually. i uncovered a set of unresolved resentments, that were still affecting my world view. i uncovered a spiritual path, that i had been embarked upon for quite some time that had become a point of contention, at least in my head, that would separate me from the very fellowship that had given me this new life. now that i sit smack dab in the middle of my 12TH STEP, i see that everything that happened, everything i felt and everything i went through had a purpose. not some sort of esoteric, meaning of life kind of purpose. no the purpose that i am starting to see, is the removal of yet another layer of shite that blocks me from being more. more human, more genuine, more whole and certainly more self-assured. i KNOW that i do not know a whole lot of anything, and the more i learn the more i see that i have to learn. this trip through the steps has made more loving caring and most importantly more connected to the people in my life. what i once that was impossible, i now see was just hiding under the layer of detritus that accumulated over the course of living THE life.
yes, for me, the 12 steps are the path to a life beyond my wildest dreams and also provide me the resources i NEED to keep this life going. i am quite certain that without them i would be more like a bonsai, than a towering oak. the pot that stunted my growth and the process that twisted my limbs into an artistically form, has been removed from my life and although i am not yet an image of a towering oak, i am certainly well on my way, as long as i keep doing what has worked for across the course of my recovery journey, the 12 steps.
way back when i first started this set of steps, i was certain that i was pretty well “fixed.” i had a full life, i had friends, a career, a long-term relationship, material success and emotional stability. sure there were a few things wrong that i felt i would just have to accept, but all in all, i had a life that was far beyond my wildest dreams. as i worked this set of steps, i uncovered a major reservation about how far i thought i could go, emotionally and spiritually. i uncovered a set of unresolved resentments, that were still affecting my world view. i uncovered a spiritual path, that i had been embarked upon for quite some time that had become a point of contention, at least in my head, that would separate me from the very fellowship that had given me this new life. now that i sit smack dab in the middle of my 12TH STEP, i see that everything that happened, everything i felt and everything i went through had a purpose. not some sort of esoteric, meaning of life kind of purpose. no the purpose that i am starting to see, is the removal of yet another layer of shite that blocks me from being more. more human, more genuine, more whole and certainly more self-assured. i KNOW that i do not know a whole lot of anything, and the more i learn the more i see that i have to learn. this trip through the steps has made more loving caring and most importantly more connected to the people in my life. what i once that was impossible, i now see was just hiding under the layer of detritus that accumulated over the course of living THE life.
yes, for me, the 12 steps are the path to a life beyond my wildest dreams and also provide me the resources i NEED to keep this life going. i am quite certain that without them i would be more like a bonsai, than a towering oak. the pot that stunted my growth and the process that twisted my limbs into an artistically form, has been removed from my life and although i am not yet an image of a towering oak, i am certainly well on my way, as long as i keep doing what has worked for across the course of my recovery journey, the 12 steps.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ courage and wisdom ∞ 365 words ➥ Sunday, April 24, 2005 by: donnot↔ serving my disease, or beginning to serve God and others? ↔ 253 words ➥ Monday, April 24, 2006 by: donnot
∞ the Twelve Steps provide a simple way to turn my life around. ∞ 463 words ➥ Tuesday, April 24, 2007 by: donnot
↔ the fellowship does not promise me that i will find good jobs, loving relationships, or a fulfilling life. ↔ 378 words ➥ Thursday, April 24, 2008 by: donnot
δ before coming to this fellowship, my life was centered around using. δ 605 words ➥ Friday, April 24, 2009 by: donnot
δ when i work the Twelve Steps to the best of my ability δ 190 words ➥ Saturday, April 24, 2010 by: donnot
ƒ through abstinence and working the Twelve Steps, my life has become useful ƒ 1056 words ➥ Sunday, April 24, 2011 by: donnot
∂ when my energy is no longer channeled into addiction ∂ 597 words ➥ Tuesday, April 24, 2012 by: donnot
¦ before coming to recovery, my life was centered around using. ¦ 496 words ➥ Wednesday, April 24, 2013 by: donnot
∠ i will have the wisdom to use the Twelve Steps in my life, ∠ 528 words ➥ Thursday, April 24, 2014 by: donnot
[ a simple way ] 624 words ➥ Friday, April 24, 2015 by: donnot
☛ the key to ☝ 788 words ➥ Monday, April 24, 2017 by: donnot
🌵 as i grow 🌻 562 words ➥ Tuesday, April 24, 2018 by: donnot
🏗 building a life 🔨 648 words ➥ Wednesday, April 24, 2019 by: donnot
🌱 the courage 🌱 538 words ➥ Friday, April 24, 2020 by: donnot
🗱 becoming able 🗱 457 words ➥ Saturday, April 24, 2021 by: donnot
😌 to become 😎 493 words ➥ Sunday, April 24, 2022 by: donnot
🙇 FAITH 🙏 540 words ➥ Monday, April 24, 2023 by: donnot
🌄 my life seems 🌇 437 words ➥ Wednesday, April 24, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
1) Heaven is long-enduring and earth continues long. The reason why
heaven and earth are able to endure and continue thus long is because
they do not live of, or for, themselves. This is how they are able
to continue and endure.