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to becoming useful, as a result of learning how to live the twelve steps, although i can think of at least two people who might argue that assertion. if i were to crater to self-obsession i would argue the weight of what many others think of my progress is a better indicator of what living the steps has done for me. the fact that i had the ability, desire and resources to travel to the very tip-top of Africa, is certainly enough proof for this addict that i must be doing something correctly, even though i have more than my fair share of missteps and faux pas. my life in active recovery hardly resembles my life in active addiction at all, and for that i am certainly grateful, as are most of those who come across my path in my daily travels.
getting to a place in my life that does not require lying, manipulation and pretending to be someone i am not, has not been easy. arriving at today was not a promise that anyone made to me, but those who were in the rooms when i got clean, told me point blank that if learned to live the program, i certainly would have more opportunities presented to me, than i could ever imagine. they were adamant about the only promise in this fellowship was FREEDOM FROM ACTIVE ADDITION and in that freedom, i have found a brand new manner of living.
as i walk out into this early morning, i feel grateful that the bulk of my Mom's estate work is behind me. my nice is pout on her own, the house has been sold, the new owner's have taken possession and my parent's “treasures” have moved on to their new homes. my leg is tarting to heal and perhaps i will be able to run the Bolder Boulder, rather than walk it, but that has yet to be determined. what i do know, however, is that if i want to have the opportunity to do just that, i need to be consistent in my commitment to fitness and physical therapy. once again, here is another gift given to me from living the steps, the desire to do just that, today and just for today. so it is off to the streets to get some motion into my morning, knowing that no matter how challenging today may become, i have what i need to stay clean and minimize the damage i may inflict on the world around me.

∞ DT ∞