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and worthlessness of it all, without a doubt a place i can dwell, but one i CHOOSE not to, for every long.
i am not some of my peers, who focus on nothing but the so-called positive aspects of their lives. they seem to walk around believing that everything is part of a plan. once upon a time, i would try is disabuse them of that notion and dissuade them from looking at everything from the rainbows and unicorn side of life. “positivity,” if that is even a word, does not attract more positive things, in fact, in the physical world, positive charges ONLY attract negative charges, it is a fact that opposites attract. i choose to no longer correct that sort of superstition, as i do NOT have the answers and maybe they are correct in their belief. it is known as a spiritual principle called tolerance, and exercising that in my life, through repetition, helps me to become more competent at it.
yes, some days it sucks to be me. there are times when i wish that i was younger, richer, more charismatic, or had any life but mine. that too, is a place i used to dwell, and choose not to live there for very long today. do i instantly spring to gratitude for what i have been given and for who i am today? not be a long shot, but i am grateful for a few of those who stuck around and share a similar outlook on life:

Steven S,
7 years of doing this gig,
one day at a time.
CONGRATS my friend, and keep coming back.

for me, my life is a product of everything that has happened to date, the “positive” and the “negative” stuff. life happens and i need not attribute the stuff that i do not find acceptable -- i.e. the bad or negative -- to the will of a deity or part of that deity's plan, it simply just is.
today i believe that as part of the whole, my life is perfect. that does not mean i do not strive to improve my station, my bank account or my physical wellness, it just means i gratefully accept who i am right now and place my FAITH in a POWER that does fuel my recovery and provides me the opportunities to get what i need and even some of the time, what i want. time to get rolling down the road as i have many miles to roll through before i sleep tonight. it is a great day to be clean. oh yeah, i am not walking through today, waiting for the other shoe to drop, today just is.

∞ DT ∞