Blog entry for:

spiritual fulfillment that i have earned through my recovery journey. WTF am i talking about, what sort of hubris am i displaying when i look at the spiritual fulfillment i have today as something i earned? i know that feigning humility, at least for me, means diminishing the effort i put into arriving where i am. if i were to write what i believe my peers are saying, i would scream how f*cking grateful i am for the GOD-given program of recovery, that i was chosen to be part of, through a set of coincidences that were actually the hand of GOD working in my life. the spiritual awakenings that have occurred over the course of my recovery, allows me to see a bit deeper than what i once saw and whether or not i was spared from active addiction and chosen to recover by GOD, is no longer a topic with which i concern myself. the facts, plain and simply put is that i got clean, stayed clean and learned how to be an addict in active recovery. speaking of which:

Steven S,
Congrats on 1 DECADE clean.
I am glad i got to be a part of your “WE”

when i first started putting down my thoughts, i was going to work over the principle that i had earned my spiritual fulfillment. that notion is still in my head, BUT just as i paid for my seat in the rooms, with pain and suffering of active addiction, so i have earned my recovery with my day after day commitment to living this program. i do not have to apologize to anyone. i kept coming back and coming back clean and just as the days clean accumulated into months, years and yes even decades, i “got” to grow, by doing the footwork. part of that growth is learning to give credit where credit is due. those of my peers who were here when i got clean, showed me that it could be done. my sponsors guided me on a path that i was not thrilled to be walking upon. and yes through all of that the POWER that fuels my recovery, gave me the power to stay clean and fostered my desire for more. all those contributors allowed me the freedom to eke out a spiritual path that i could own and as a result my ass is firmly planted in the rooms.
just for today, i am grateful i was given the gift of recovery and the ability and the DESIRE to do what it takes to live in the present tense. part of that life has been learning how to take care of myself, which right here and right now means it is time to get a walk in, before the weather changes for the worse. it is a great day to be able to revel in the joys of being clean, to feel the gratitude of the FREEDOM from active addiction and to take care of the one person i never thought worthy of being cared for, ME.

∞ DT ∞