Blog entry for:

the storms of life have recently have passed me by. part of that is i no longer am quite the drama queen i was when i walked into the rooms, i do not create that kind of chaos anymore! another part is that i have learned to separate my stuff from everyone else's, not that i do not care or am unwilling to be of help when asked, just that i have learned for my sanity a bit of detachment is a good thing. but in reality it is the knowledge and belief that i will be taken care of by THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN. that belief has been nurtured into FAITH over the course of my recovery. i know that FAITH can be defined as a belief in something for which there is no tangible evidence but i am not that type person, never have been and probably never will be, which may be unfortunate. i do not look for signs nor do i run around screaming ‘THY WILL NOT MINE!’ no i have developed FAITH by looking around for evidence that something is working in my life and the results of that search has been that there is tons of evidence that something is keeping me clean and providing the strength i need to overcome those obstacles that are beyond my scope. this evidence cannot be explained away by any rational means, which leaves just two alternatives

• coincidence
• or a creative, protective power beyond my ken

these days i choose the latter for the explanation. that choice fuels my FAITH and allows me to seek shelter from the bumps and grinds that life tosses my way. notice i do not say protects me, i believe that i need to go through trials, tribulations and turmoil in order to progress. shelter implies providing cover rather preventing damage. i do not require protection from my HIGHER POWER but i do desire shelter, and my experience is that shelter has always been provided for me. after all, an addict who used the way i did should not have passed his thirtieth birthday and that was nearly twenty years ago, so something, call it what you will i choose calling it my HIGHER POWER, sheltered me from the ravages of active addiction and provided me the means to become more than i ever dreamed possible and that knowledge is more than enough to nurture my seed of FAITH today!
∞ DT ∞