Blog entry for:

the storms of life, just for today, certainly relies on my FAITH in the program of recovery i have come to live by and having the FAITH that nothing is F*CKED! as i was driving in this morning, not particularly enjoying the cigar i chose for my journey. i thought about my actions yesterday and whether or not i did something that needs to be admitted. at the time i rationalized away my answer to whether or not i had the “time” to do something by telling myself i did not have the DESIRE, hence i could not offer up my time. all of that is certainly true, but quite disingenuous, as i had the time but was unwilling to give it. by being literal in my reply, i got away with something and although i do not feel bad about saying NO, i feel bad about not being honest. the wrong i did was to myself and for that i NEED to let go and allow myself the FREEDOM to be okay.
moving into the here and now and thinking about the FAITH i have grown over the past decades, i can feel that i am doing better than i think, with respect to the FAITH i need to carry on with my recovery and living day-to-day. even though i am a bit stymied in correcting the issue i pushed to production on Monday afternoon, i know that have the skills to correct the problems i am seeing and make it work. this week has not been my most stellar by any measure at work and perhaps i will be able to break the logjam of issues i am having with this little piece of code. it is certainly time to take thew data structure out of the code and play around with it in the shell. before i forget…

Margaret C
CONGRATS on twenty-nine (29) years clean.

writing this allows me to unwind from my drive, i need to focus on “nerding” a bit harder to get rolling on my tasks for the day. my FAITH has sustained me over the past year and even though the seas of my life have been far from calm, i survived, persisted and ended up thriving. right here and right now i am feeling more than a bit of gratitude for a POWER that fuels my recovery and provides for all my needs, IF i pay attention to the opportunities i am presented and exercise them.

∞ DT ∞