Blog entry for:

deal with someone who is unwilling to accept their living situation? one way, is to practice a bit of **tough love.** this morning, i had to tell that **someone** that i was unwilling to do some stuff they seem to expect of me. i did not dither around, nor did sugarcoat anything. i told them quite bluntly that i would not and did not try and hide it under a bushel of i could not or a thousand of reasons why not. it may not have been what they wanted to hear this morning, but it was a boundary that i needed to set for myself, i will see how long it is, before that boundary is traipsed upon and violated. i no longer require or even desire their approval of who i am and how i live my life and stepping out from under that shadow, has given me a freedom that has long been lacking in my life, even though i was oblivious to not being free in that sense. the die has been cast and i am moving on.
embracing reality has been tough for me over the past few months, with my Dad being in and out of the hospital and eventually dying because of an infection in his surgical site, my very powerful 4TH and 5TH steps and the end of COVID-19 lock-down, i am not all that certain what reality is today. i do know that i am clean. i do know that if i want to be healthier, i need to take the steps necessary to do so. i do know that if i do not want to end up having to “cath” myself, because i cannot relieve myself naturally, than i need to follow the advice my medical doctors give me. what i do not want is to wind -up all alone, for hours on end, watching TV with my face in a video game, waiting for someone to be kind enough to come and keep me company. how i live the next few years of my life, will set all of what comes next, up. i know that i cannot prevent or even slow the march of time. what i can do, is to make the most of the reality i am presented with today and let go of my expectations of what is coming down the pike.
i have seen my future in the fate of my parents and i CHOOSE to keep from ending up in a similar situation. freeing myself from the identity i formed when i was just a child, is certainly the best way to get started on becoming who i want to be and letting go of who i was, just for today.

∞ DT ∞