๐ข one of the most ๐ข
Posted: Sat, Apr 25, 2026 08:23:21 AM
painful lessons i have learned in recovery is that my peers and i are all on own paths. addicts relapse, no matter how long they may be clean. no matter how well their lives may look on the outside, that is just a fact of life. in my recovery journey, i have seen many addicts relapse, some with time, some with not so much, but the pain is the same. i am feel sad, i get angry and most of all i wonder what it was that i could have done to keep from using. the sad fact of life in my experience anyhow, is that i can never tell who is doing well and who is on the verge of relapse. what hit me the hardest this morning from my source material was my feelings about their relapse and how i treat them, after the fact.
for quite some time i was one of those who treated those in relapse with tough love: limited contact with them and only if the reached out to me first. over time i have softened because i saw that in the long run, i had no power over their addiction. these days, i will reach out and keep a line of communication open. as long as they keep responding, i will keep reaching out. when i speak to them, i speak with compassion and let them know i am there for them and they have a path back.
i have been one of those who used to invest more in the recovery of others, than they were investing themselves. when i finally gave up and surrendered to the fact f how much power i did not have, that decision rippled down to all my relationships: friendships, sponsorship, acquaintances, family members and co-workers. as sad as it may be, i have had relationships wither on the vine, because i chose to invest at the same level as they do. why now? well this trip to Montana has exposed me to a different cousin and his wife. i have never spent time with them and as a result i have a whole new perspective on the family dynamic here in Montana. i still have to sort out my feelings about all of this, but i am grateful they welcomed me into their home and i have shown more of myself than i probably needed to share. this s a relationship that has changed and i am uncertain about where it may go.
it is time however to return to being present for them and post this little ditty on to the interwebs. life may throw a few curve-balls every day, but i am doing well enough in my inner peace that i can be a part of the lives around me, just for today.
for quite some time i was one of those who treated those in relapse with tough love: limited contact with them and only if the reached out to me first. over time i have softened because i saw that in the long run, i had no power over their addiction. these days, i will reach out and keep a line of communication open. as long as they keep responding, i will keep reaching out. when i speak to them, i speak with compassion and let them know i am there for them and they have a path back.
i have been one of those who used to invest more in the recovery of others, than they were investing themselves. when i finally gave up and surrendered to the fact f how much power i did not have, that decision rippled down to all my relationships: friendships, sponsorship, acquaintances, family members and co-workers. as sad as it may be, i have had relationships wither on the vine, because i chose to invest at the same level as they do. why now? well this trip to Montana has exposed me to a different cousin and his wife. i have never spent time with them and as a result i have a whole new perspective on the family dynamic here in Montana. i still have to sort out my feelings about all of this, but i am grateful they welcomed me into their home and i have shown more of myself than i probably needed to share. this s a relationship that has changed and i am uncertain about where it may go.
it is time however to return to being present for them and post this little ditty on to the interwebs. life may throw a few curve-balls every day, but i am doing well enough in my inner peace that i can be a part of the lives around me, just for today.
∞ DT ∞