Blog entry for:

i am always amazed when something i write on this little missive strikes a nerve and i get a response. truthfully, what i write here is just for me, and you all get the vicarious pleasure of reading whatever happens to come to mind at this very moment in time. nothing i write here is of any consequence in the big picture, nor is it intended for anyone in particular. in reality, if i have something to say to you in particular, i will say it directly. using a semi-anonymous blog in cyberspace to send someone in my life a message is not my style. although come to think of it, it was at one time.
i bristle and bustle when someone says something that strikes a nerve but, i am not one who likes to do confrontation. i would rather take what i perceive as abuse and get back at you tenfold later, after i had a chance to build-up a resentment and plan for my payback. you know, classic passive-aggressiveness. one of the many character defects that i identified in my last sixth step, that leads to all sorts of behaviors that i am more than willing to have THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN remove, and have humbly asked over and over and over and over again to be rid of. the good news is that i am getting better and the world around me, especially those that i believe have somehow slighted or injured me, has not had to suffer the consequences of my ten-fold payback in quite a few days. is that a result of something i did? well kind of, i did work through a seventh step, but that is where my part ends. i was not the driving force behind the removal of that set of behaviors from my daily repertoire, i wish i could claim that i had the power to do that.
so who am i judging today? usually just myself, but the reading reminds me, that like others i too am struggling with my defects of character and all the unsavory behaviors that arise from them. so i can apply the seventh step filter to myself as well as those that are part of my life, even for a brief instance in cross-town traffic. and being less critical is a much better way to live my life, just for today!

∞ DT ∞