Blog entry for:

but i DID experience a subtle shift in my perceptions of myself and others.
so this is in two parts or so it seems. i started this, then i had to take our Daisy to get chipped and snipped, anyhow it is what it is.
before i get to far down the road:

Congrats Jim E,
Three (3) YEARS Clean,
Awesome JOB.
Thank you for being here for me

moving right along, so as a result of our pup having to go to the vet, i am working from home, and my day is way out of my routine. it would be nice to say that i have no anxiety about her going under the knife, but the last dog we took in for surgery, never came home again. although the circumstances are way different this time, as she is not sick and this is elective not an emergency, my head knows that the previous outcome will not necessarily repeated, me heart on the other hand is going down the track of what if…
so i have my head down and i am pounding away at my work tasks and doing my best not to think of all of that and let it all be as it will be.
which brings me back to the here and now. yes, i did once wish that all my shortcomings would instantly be removed, i remember how light i felt after my first REAL SEVENTH Step, and that experience was the one that convinced me, that i was on the right path. much has happened since, but none of that has made me abandon or alter the direction that my life in recovery is taking me. i am grateful to be clean and even though i am closer to 60 than i am to 50, i still feel as if i am sometimes only 30 or even younger, as i do not seem to see the world the way i think old guys like do. there is a certain wonder that all my cynicism does not ever seem to kill, and part of that, i am coming to believe is that i did not shuffle off this mortal coli, as an active addict or before i had a chance to sample this new way of living. so i do get it and yes, today i can say that:“I Understand.”

∞ DT ∞