Blog entry for:

out of destructive patterns and develop new, healthier habits. this is not something that pops off the top of the stack when i consider what living a program of recovery may mean to me. this morning i was tempted to ignore work and write this little ditty, even though the fix i needed to push was quite minor and the pet peeve i has should have been an easy fix. after testing i saw that the former was simple and the latter, well not so much and i struggled to find a solution that fit me. i ended up compromising and returned it to its original state with the other bug fixed and decided to write this before i went to the cigar store. i may still take my morning meeting with a huge stogie in my mouth, but for right now, i am focusing on this exercise.
as i get back to thinking about this and how i “walk my talk” as one of my peers was so fond of saying, but not so fond of actually doing, i can see that the habits, rituals and daily ablutions i do daily, do keep me on my path towards being a better person. by staying close to my friends and peers in recovery, i do get a bit of advance warning when i have a “spiritual booger” hanging out of my nose, or worse. i “get” that i am the often the last to know when i am living as an asshole, and when i finally see it, the pile of shit i have created takes a very long minute to unwind. it certainly behooves me to pay better attention to the present tense, rather that future-tripping or strolling down the bad neighborhood of euphoric recall.
with all of that said, remembering who i was and what life was really like for me, is not a bad thing to ponder over briefly in the course of my days. making plans for today, tonight, this week and even beyond, is not a bad thing either. holding on to what may have been or the outcomes of those plans, will get me into trouble, every single time. remembering that i NEED time each and every day, just for myself, is one of the most important tasks i can do every single day, after all, if i go away, so does the rest of my life and in the long run, i might as well say FTW and find a comfortable bridge where i can pitch my tent. 😉

∞ DT ∞