Some memes

are not unidirectional, they are reciprocal, mutually beneficial. one prime example is that sponsors help sponsees, and sponsees help sponsors. as i do my best not to look at my shitty fantasy draft results or dive into job hunting on this Labor Day, i understand that i am not alone in this world. i know that once upon a time, i could act as if i was a rock, an island, that none could penetrate. even in early recovery, getting into any sort of relationships seemed like a rigged game to me and one i could avoid, after all i was a grown-ass man. as i stayed clean, i saw that interdependence, mine and the fellowship that gave me this new manner of living was more than the smoke and mirrors, i once believed they were. i know today that if the fellowship were to disappear, i might not survive, but the fellowship would certainly survive, if i went away.
moving into what i am feeling this morning, i can see myself being a part of something greater. i may have come to play a supporting role in the local fellowship. but i am finding that role, is a perfect reflection of where i am in my life and my recovery. it will be interesting at the even this morning, seeing some of my peers who i have not seen in quite a few days. i know that i certainly could choose to show up at more meetings and allow others to see that i am doing well. i can and do make a thousand excuses as to why or why not, i do not go. the fact is, i do not know what is keeping me away. i have made a commitment to myself to attend the Wednesday nooner, until i start working again and perhaps i need to add one more meeting into that weekly smorgasbord of recovery. certainly something to consider on this fine Labor Day morning.
i am sort of out of ideas to write about. i guess the best thing would be to wish my spouse a joyful tweet-fifth anniversary of her clean date and post this on the inter-webs. it is a good day to be clean, on this side of the lawn and willing to be a part of something greater than myself. just for today.

∞ DT ∞