๐ deciding to ๐
Posted: Fri, Apr 24, 2026 05:10:00 AM
turn my will and life over to the care of the HIGHER POWER of my understanding is huge. here i sit, way too early, miles and miles from my home, pounding this exercise out. yes, it is true that i made a decision to be where i am and to be doing this before heading out to the funeral of my uncle. no one forced, coerced or manipulated me into being here and if there is something anything close to free will, in the real world, than i can say i made this choice myself. i know being philosophical before breakfast is probably not the nest look for me, but it goes directly to the point: i can and do make decisions on a daily basis that affect the outcome of my day and amongst them is the decision to surrender my will and my life into the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery.
i have often wondered the direction my life might have taken if i had chosen to skip my Grandmother's funeral, twenty nine or so years ago. certainly would not be sitting in Bozeman Montana writing this out at five AM in the morning. i am staying at the hose of a cousin i have spent very little time with, on my few trips up here and it has been very educational. seeing a different part of my family, up close and personal is showing me that what i thought i knew about the family dynamics up here, is not quite correct. spending the rest of my trip in their company will certainly open my eyes to what i have yet to see. speaking of which, i need to get rolling into my morning here. i have miles to go before i sleep and that journey needs to begin.
i will make many decisions today, if i carry my recovery with me, into the den of grief and feelings i have yet to feel, i know that i will be okay. sure a cigar and a cup of coffee might be nice, but i can forgo the cigars for the next couple days and be present for what is going on around me. i do have a POWER that fuels my recovery and i can and will allow that POWER to guide me through this tricky day.
i have often wondered the direction my life might have taken if i had chosen to skip my Grandmother's funeral, twenty nine or so years ago. certainly would not be sitting in Bozeman Montana writing this out at five AM in the morning. i am staying at the hose of a cousin i have spent very little time with, on my few trips up here and it has been very educational. seeing a different part of my family, up close and personal is showing me that what i thought i knew about the family dynamics up here, is not quite correct. spending the rest of my trip in their company will certainly open my eyes to what i have yet to see. speaking of which, i need to get rolling into my morning here. i have miles to go before i sleep and that journey needs to begin.
i will make many decisions today, if i carry my recovery with me, into the den of grief and feelings i have yet to feel, i know that i will be okay. sure a cigar and a cup of coffee might be nice, but i can forgo the cigars for the next couple days and be present for what is going on around me. i do have a POWER that fuels my recovery and i can and will allow that POWER to guide me through this tricky day.
∞ DT ∞