๐ i can act ๐
Posted: Tue, Jun 30, 2026 10:49:52 AM
on the hope for freedom, for others and myself, today no matter how I feel. i know i have said in the past and it still applies today, hope, in general, is a tricky subject for me. when it gets narrowed down to a specific topic, it is easier for me to feel, although sometimes it seems that no one around me is getting any sort of freedom, especially the newest of the new. that is when i spin down into a less than hopeful condition and quite honestly my cynicism takes over. i truly want to believe that an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs and find a new way to live. most of the time the HOPE in that statement fills me with joy and i can walk in the “sunlight of the spirit.”
today, for whatever reason that does not seem to be the direction my mood is taking me. today i am in a foul mood and nothing is good enough for me and i find fault in everything. it is a good thing that i have time to restart my day before i have to go deal with the public. my lack of sleep, the effect that this low fiber diet is having on my digestion and the fact that my leg is injured is affecting my spiritual fitness. understanding that physically i am ailing can certainly help me uncover the path towards feeling more my spiritual self.
moving away from what is wrong and into a path towards that sunlight means i NEED to find a bit of gratitude for what i do have and what i can and will be able to do, today. yes i know that writing a gratitude list is a standard trope in 12 STEP fellowships and i am not about to write one here. what i will do, is to lest the ones that are pertinent today. i am mostly healthy and my injury is short term, if i start addressing it with PT exercises and rest. tolerating the fact that one of fellow employees does not understand what being part of this team at work means, instead of griping about it, frees me from the negativity that will lead to anger and resentment. mostly i am grateful for the gift of pause and seeing a path out of my self-deprecation. that is more than enough to restart my day and be okay with where it may be going.
today, for whatever reason that does not seem to be the direction my mood is taking me. today i am in a foul mood and nothing is good enough for me and i find fault in everything. it is a good thing that i have time to restart my day before i have to go deal with the public. my lack of sleep, the effect that this low fiber diet is having on my digestion and the fact that my leg is injured is affecting my spiritual fitness. understanding that physically i am ailing can certainly help me uncover the path towards feeling more my spiritual self.
moving away from what is wrong and into a path towards that sunlight means i NEED to find a bit of gratitude for what i do have and what i can and will be able to do, today. yes i know that writing a gratitude list is a standard trope in 12 STEP fellowships and i am not about to write one here. what i will do, is to lest the ones that are pertinent today. i am mostly healthy and my injury is short term, if i start addressing it with PT exercises and rest. tolerating the fact that one of fellow employees does not understand what being part of this team at work means, instead of griping about it, frees me from the negativity that will lead to anger and resentment. mostly i am grateful for the gift of pause and seeing a path out of my self-deprecation. that is more than enough to restart my day and be okay with where it may be going.
∞ DT ∞