Blog entry for:

through service, i started on the sometimes long road back to becoming a productive member of society.
so i wish i could say that i am posting so late because i have quietly pondering the message in the reading today for all of these many hours. the actual truth is that i have been neglecting what i need to do and been working like a mad man since i first sat up and faced the world this morning. just that time of month i guess! :)
so now that i am stealing a moment to get back in touch with how i am doing this morning or afternoon which ever the case may be, i get to think about the gift of service to the fellowship that has given me this new life.
it is an interesting thought that i could be of service just by showing up and sharing at a meeting. in fact that idea strikes me as so novel, i have probably written about it before. so the second thought that pops into my pea-sized brain today is that self-esteem being built by the same sort of service. that too is a topic that i may have written about in the past, but there is a chord resonating in me when i contemplate that particular thought so i guess i will run with it. one of the cliché, i have heard thrown around is a metaphor about peering up to see a snake’s belly. so suffice it to say that i had low self-esteem when i walked into the rooms. i acted as if i had a great opinion of myself and let everyone know exactly how great i was, over and over and over again. i never considered that i was worthless in my own mind, and it was the members in the rooms in my early days that eased me into the kind of service only a thirty day wonder could provide, not much except talking to other members who came after me, making coffee, and printing calenders. even that little bit of service bolstered my self-image, because for once i was contributing something instead of taking everything i could. service has become an integral part of my daily recovery and maybe even this little web page is providing a service for someone. i write it however because it is a good thing for me to do! after all it is all about me, even to this day!

∞ DT ∞