Blog entry for:

then listen as others share what has worked for them.
what i do not know all the answers, imagine that! after all, when i was sixteen i was sure that i had ALL the answers and that attitude even got worse as i grew older and as my disease progressed i even got more cock-sure about what i thought i knew, and i let EVERYONE know it! so here i sit at fifty finally coming to the conclusion that i was so full of shit, that i wonder why my eyes are not brown.
so what do i REALLY know today? well that i am just a human being, and an addict in recovery to boot. the implication of that statement is that is is highly improbable that i will ever know everything or ever come anywhere close. that includes recovery, the disease of addiction, myself and how i react to the world around me.
not to sound too defeatist, there is HOPE for me after all. even though i am incapable of knowing all there is about those subjects, admitting that allows me to try and have an open mind about all of those subjects, helps me to accept suggestions from others and helps me to be willing to try what has worked for them. i can get better, i do not believe i will ever be cured or even well. admitting that i do not know also provides me the freedom to be more than i ever was. it is my preconceived notions and what i think i know that prevents me from growing into the man that i was always meant to be.
so being teachable is not a slam on who i am, rather it is an asset that i NEED to accept and NOURISH by listening to what is going on in the world around me.

∞ DT ∞