Blog entry for:

it took my very best thinking to get to recovery, and now that i am here here, i might as well be here to learn. as i am up and at it early this morning, front loading my day so to speak, i am in a space where i finally can feel like i got something done. over the past week, at least since getting back from Mexico, i have been forcing myself to work, and actually spending a lot of time and effort looking like i was being productive. why today, i do not know as it is Saturday but that is irrelevant, as i am learning to go with the flow, at least in respect to my desire and energy to work or just get some stuff done.
a minor distraction and i am back at this, one more thing i wanted to get done this morning has been started. so as i get back into the flow, the topic i heard this morning was dealing with being open-minded and willing, aka remaining teachable. as i look across my peers in recovery, i see this being parroted over and over again, but when it comes right down to their behavior is more like yeah right, go away and play with someone who is more your own age. if i feel it, it means that i too, am probably guilty of it. there was a time when i looked to members with what i thought was significant recovery as some sort of elite class. i evaluated whether or not they had anything to offer me, based on the amount of clean-time they had. the more days clean, the more recovery. man was i surprised to learn that rule, while one to start with, is hardly holds fast, even most of the time. what i have been taught, especially over the past 18 months or so, is that even though clean time can be an indicator of the depth of one#39;s recovery. my teachers may not have more clean time than i do, and i may be able to teach some addict with significant clean time a thing or two.
getting back to me, however, i can see myself falling into that trap. there are times when i feel there is nothing new to learn in recovery. after all, as my sponsor has so eloquently put it, after the first six months in the rooms, i had heard almost every idea, concept and principle that had anything to do with recovery from addiction. that is a truism and it probably happened long before six months, BUT, while the ideas and concepts may not be new, HOW TO APPLY THEM in living day by day in active recovery is what is new and is what i need to be learning now.
as i have a few more things to accomplish before service this morning, i will sign-off with the idea that using those members who are dismissive of my ideas as a template for what not to do, i will be better able to be teachable today, after all, i do not know who my next teacher will be and it really is better that way.

∞ DT ∞