Blog entry for:

and toxic relationships was a confusing start to a reading for me, after all i have reached a place in my recovery where i no longer tolerate toxic relationships, as i am worth more than maintaining a toxic relationship. case in point, when given the opportunity to step away from my less than tolerable relationship with my Mom, i ran and have yet to look back. i am okay with allowing for some distance between us, as i was becoming less civil, forgiving or even tolerant day by day, and dreaded even being in the same room as she was. what i have learned as a result is that no matter who i promised what to, i need to care for myself so i CAN be loving and caring to others.
what i “heard” this morning, between the constant jabber of how i had to alter my schedule and get done the stuff i wanted to accomplish. was that tolerance is not part of toxic relationships and i never need to compromise myself or my boundaries to practice tolerance. shifting my morning schedule around to accommodate my spouse's hair cutting client is not a bad thing to do. amazingly, even though i had a shitty workout, because i left far too soon after i ate breakfast, i am neither angry nor resentful, as i got 'er done. what i took away from this experience is that perhaps my alteration needs to be i go out before i eat breakfast next week and see how that works. what matters is that i find the ways and means to allow myself the freedom to be okay with having to be flexible, because i do not want to be the person that makes a relationship toxic.
i guess i do not have anything else, popping off the stack, so it is time to put this baby to bed and move on with my day. just for today, however, i can be okay looking at my part in the relationships i do have and allowing myself to make the changes in my behavior to facilitate happy and healthy relationships with those that i can and allow those that i cannot to morph into what they will. if the relationship turns toxic, i will see what i can do to fix it and if i cannot repair that broken relationship, let go and ease on down the road.

∞ DT ∞