∞ there was nothing dramatic in that awareness ∞
Posted: Wed, Jun 20, 2007 10:08:30 AM
no bolts of lightning or claps of thunder. instead, it was something quietly powerful.
so listening instead of asking, quite a concept for this addict, however not unattainable. i never was a beginner at this task when i came to recovery, as i had learned to meditate many years ago, although active addiction was not conducive to achieving any results through this activity, and i had given up long ago on meditation. so my first eleventh step brought similar results, i was impatient and unwilling to wait for the results i expected.
so on my second eleventh step, i finally dropped my expectations and was rewarded by a whole different set of results. i finally became aware of something more working in my life, i finally got a bit of serenity. i finally was able to integrate meditation into my daily routine.
lately, i have trouble settling my overactive mind and listening. part of what is going on, is that i am obsessing about what i need to accomplish this day to meet my responsibilities. only this week have i once again decided that obsessing in that moment is not conducive to my spiritual health and accepting that has allowed me to once again to feel the calm and quiet space that i need to have to get my day started today. the hope in all of this, is that i did not give up. i continued to go at every day, regardless of what i thought was or was not happening, and once again i am back to doing what i desire, finding that quiet space, and being able to listen to what really going on. so back to work and off to the mundane world again.
so listening instead of asking, quite a concept for this addict, however not unattainable. i never was a beginner at this task when i came to recovery, as i had learned to meditate many years ago, although active addiction was not conducive to achieving any results through this activity, and i had given up long ago on meditation. so my first eleventh step brought similar results, i was impatient and unwilling to wait for the results i expected.
so on my second eleventh step, i finally dropped my expectations and was rewarded by a whole different set of results. i finally became aware of something more working in my life, i finally got a bit of serenity. i finally was able to integrate meditation into my daily routine.
lately, i have trouble settling my overactive mind and listening. part of what is going on, is that i am obsessing about what i need to accomplish this day to meet my responsibilities. only this week have i once again decided that obsessing in that moment is not conducive to my spiritual health and accepting that has allowed me to once again to feel the calm and quiet space that i need to have to get my day started today. the hope in all of this, is that i did not give up. i continued to go at every day, regardless of what i thought was or was not happening, and once again i am back to doing what i desire, finding that quiet space, and being able to listen to what really going on. so back to work and off to the mundane world again.
∞ DT ∞