Blog entry for:

know what it is i am listening for, when i meditate and that is okay by me, just for today. i have already gushed about the effects of meditation on me, dozens o times before. i have already shared about the breakthrough during my last spiritual awakening with the quality of the time i sit on a daily basis. those facts are still part of my life, and other than that brief mention, need not be explained in depth, yet again. with all of that being said i am still a m,ere “beginner” when it comes to meditation and uncertain, to this day, what it is that i “should” be listening for, when i meditate. i know how meditation affects me and the effects that are manifest in my waking day. GOD's will for me🙻 not a clue. where once this lack of certainty would have driven me crazy, as i hated not “knowing,” this morning anyhow, i can say that is not a problem as i move into this day. i have yet to hear that i did not get the job i was going for and i do know that i have a huge hole to dig out of, due to circumstances beyond my control. where both of those events have been driving me to distraction over the course of the past week, last night, for whatever reason, i was able to let them go and sleep peacefully for the first night in weeks. knowledge of GOD's will for me? a letting go and surrendering my will and my life into the care of? or perhaps, as i practice this new path i am finding that sanity in my life is defined by how well i balance the complementary forces that are my life. i may not have a roadmap that marks all the landmines in the path ahead, but i am more willing to allow myself to be guided by the POWER that fuels my recovery.
i have to admit that as i was enjoying a cigar yesterday, i was entranced reading the closed-captioning of Fox News and it was Tucker Carson and his neo-fascist guests talking nonsensically about immigration and the affect of zero-tolerance on the country today. i felt my IQ slipping as the words rolled by and more than once i wondered how those people could possibly open their mouths and say those idiotic and untrue sound bites. just a quick FYI: illegal immigrants cannot vote, therefore cannot be part of the Democratic Party electoral strategy. every time i turn on the TV and hear a statement from the “left” i do not hear them comparing the leaders on the right to famous fascists in history, “in every other sentence.” i can see why the mouthpieces of the current regime feel so uncomfortable with that comparison however, as the fascist label certainly hits very close to the mark, and i say that as i sit at attention thinking about the current resident of Casa Blanca. neo-conservatives have become neo-fascists by association and i wonder where all those tea-party and true conservative values such as dissent and checks and balances, have gone to? that brings me to the end of my political ramblings and back to writing about my life. remember Joseph Goebbels once said: “follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous.”
a brief history lesson, lest i forget and it is off to work i go, to figure out how to get on with my life. a few things will be going by the wayside for the next nine months and that is not a bad thing, as i still have a job, a place to live and my sanity intact. guess what, i am still clueless as to GOD's will for me today, but i am ready to forge out regardless of that deficit of knowing, just for today.

∞ DT ∞