∞ i sit each morning, still my thoughts, and **listen.**
Posted: Fri, Jun 20, 2008 09:19:55 AM
...in that clear space, i am improving my conscious contact with the source of my daily recovery, the HIGHER POWER of my understanding. back to the source once again. it is kind weird how when i think about recovery, i always seem to end up here, back at the source of my recovery. oh yeah, i was one of those who believed the source of my recovery was the group and the fellowship, however these days i am of the understanding that they are part of the source and not THE source. this morning, however, i do not feel the need to launch into a treatise about my views of the divine, such as they are this morning, i do feel the need to go down thew path of conscious contact and what i GET from a daily dip into the the pool of the divine.
okay, no medals or accolades for me doing a daily meditation, i do not for self-serving and selfish reasons! the first being, i always feel refreshed and ready to face the day after dedicating a few minutes (and it is only a brief few minutes) in the morning, something about doing it as soon as i am conscious and moving around just works for me. so whether i am relying on a daily ritual, or am just doing this dded because of how it makes me feel is irrelevant. i know the why is hardly important, and at this point in my recovery the how is equally a moot point, after all, if it is working why examine and dissect it. so i did say there were reasons and have yet to enumerate more than a single one. so i feel better, i also have come to believe that this daily constitutional of sorts also provides me the resources i need to stay clean today. there i said it, it is all about not using, so move along and do your daily meditation. in all seriousness, i understand that not using, although high on my priority list is not much of a concern most days. the changes manifest in me from doing the deed, like daily meditation provide me the grace to move beyond that particular phase of my recovery, and keeps me in a process where that almost has been auto-magically removed. it is the source of my recovery that is responsible for that change and not something inherent in me. if that ability was part of me, i would not need to do this gig every single day, and i could imbibe like normal people do. i am not normal, however, and this morning i am grateful for a program of living that allows me to be more than i ever was, or ever honestly believed that i could be.
so off to the races…
okay, no medals or accolades for me doing a daily meditation, i do not for self-serving and selfish reasons! the first being, i always feel refreshed and ready to face the day after dedicating a few minutes (and it is only a brief few minutes) in the morning, something about doing it as soon as i am conscious and moving around just works for me. so whether i am relying on a daily ritual, or am just doing this dded because of how it makes me feel is irrelevant. i know the why is hardly important, and at this point in my recovery the how is equally a moot point, after all, if it is working why examine and dissect it. so i did say there were reasons and have yet to enumerate more than a single one. so i feel better, i also have come to believe that this daily constitutional of sorts also provides me the resources i need to stay clean today. there i said it, it is all about not using, so move along and do your daily meditation. in all seriousness, i understand that not using, although high on my priority list is not much of a concern most days. the changes manifest in me from doing the deed, like daily meditation provide me the grace to move beyond that particular phase of my recovery, and keeps me in a process where that almost has been auto-magically removed. it is the source of my recovery that is responsible for that change and not something inherent in me. if that ability was part of me, i would not need to do this gig every single day, and i could imbibe like normal people do. i am not normal, however, and this morning i am grateful for a program of living that allows me to be more than i ever was, or ever honestly believed that i could be.
so off to the races…
∞ DT ∞