Blog entry for:
Thu, Sep 6, 2007 08:38:57 AM
α but the more regularly i attend i meetings, the more i reinforce my identity ω
posted: Thu, Sep 6, 2007 08:38:57 AM
as a recovering addict. And each meeting helps put me that much further from becoming a using addict again.
and truthfully, the last thing i want, at least today is to become a using addict again. life in recovery has been good for and the world in which i live, i am not talking about the material success, of which i have had a bit of along this path, no what i am grateful for is the spiritual and emotional success i have had. i would love to say that this entire process has been easy, that would be a bold face lie. recovery has been tough and painful for me, nevertheless, the alternatives are still unacceptable to me. what are the alternative you may ask? well as i see it there are two. the first being miserable but abstinent. i have seen many of my peers live this sort of life, and it was my impression that white-knuckling it was actually harder and more painful than living a program of recovery. the second is to just pitch the whole recovery gig, try to use socially and see what happens. i have also had the dubious honor of seeing what happens in this scenario, and once again it is not to my taste today. so lacking any better alternative for living, i guess living in recovery is the best option for me today. so that implies that i have to do certain things, in fact i have to do what worked when i first was struggling to get clean and accept recovery, and one of those actions was to attend meetings on a regular basis.
so if i want to continue to get what i have been getting than i need to do what i have always done. i have been through a phase where meetings just plain sucked for me. and even though i did not want to go to them, i still did, because somewhere i heard and remembered one of those trite little clichés that are ever present in the rooms namely, "meeting makers make it."
so off to face my responsibilities and see what i can accomplish today, and making a meeting is not part of the plan of this day, i have to sit down and work over my sixth step with my sponsor. there are a few concessions i need to make to the world around me.
and truthfully, the last thing i want, at least today is to become a using addict again. life in recovery has been good for and the world in which i live, i am not talking about the material success, of which i have had a bit of along this path, no what i am grateful for is the spiritual and emotional success i have had. i would love to say that this entire process has been easy, that would be a bold face lie. recovery has been tough and painful for me, nevertheless, the alternatives are still unacceptable to me. what are the alternative you may ask? well as i see it there are two. the first being miserable but abstinent. i have seen many of my peers live this sort of life, and it was my impression that white-knuckling it was actually harder and more painful than living a program of recovery. the second is to just pitch the whole recovery gig, try to use socially and see what happens. i have also had the dubious honor of seeing what happens in this scenario, and once again it is not to my taste today. so lacking any better alternative for living, i guess living in recovery is the best option for me today. so that implies that i have to do certain things, in fact i have to do what worked when i first was struggling to get clean and accept recovery, and one of those actions was to attend meetings on a regular basis.
so if i want to continue to get what i have been getting than i need to do what i have always done. i have been through a phase where meetings just plain sucked for me. and even though i did not want to go to them, i still did, because somewhere i heard and remembered one of those trite little clichés that are ever present in the rooms namely, "meeting makers make it."
so off to face my responsibilities and see what i can accomplish today, and making a meeting is not part of the plan of this day, i have to sit down and work over my sixth step with my sponsor. there are a few concessions i need to make to the world around me.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) or regulating the human (in our constitution) and rendering the
(proper) service to the heavenly, there is nothing like moderation.