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my identity as a recovering addict, by attending more meetings, is something that COVID-19 and the social-distancing guidelines, has allowed me to do. i GET to more meetings these days, because i do not have to leave the comfort of my own house, during work hours. in fact, i can attend a meeting and pay a little bit of attention to work, as i do both from my home. all in all, not a bad gig, at least for this addict, who accepts that virtual meeting will be the norm, for a while longer anyhow. i am not too upset by that fact, as i find that the virtual meetings fill the space, but not the social aspect, of life in lock-down.
moving on to this identity part, mine specifically, i never wanted to be an addict of any sort, much less one in recovery. my blissful ignorance of my true nature, was the perfect storm to enable me to use, and seek out those who i KNEW would enable me, and i became very adept at doing both. not knowing how green the grass was on this side of the fence, allowed me to be derisive and disrespectful towards those who did not use the way i did, and i ran with that “fact of life.”
living a life in recovery and of recovery, allows me to pick and choose how i look at the world. i may find that my peers who are unwilling or unable to adapt to the new reality, lack flexibility, but when i do that, i am moving back in a direction i would rather not be moving. just for today, i think i will do what i can to encourage my peers to be real, accept the reality of what is and let go of the world that will never be coming back, at least not any time soon.

∞ DT ∞