Blog entry for:

i do not have to grovel and abase myself, nor must i try to appear smarter, wealthier, or happier that i really am.
this has always been a concept that has presented more than my share of problems, and one that i continue to face on a daily basis. somewhere down the line i got the notion that i am somehow never going to be good enough, and as a result, i have always tried to build myself up by acting-out in various ways. that inventory does not need to be included here today, as i am well aware that those who know me, are also well aware of my less than savory character aspects, as well as how i act on them. all things being equal, i have come to the conclusion that i need to practice another spiritual principle to get to a place of acceptance of who i am, namely that of tolerance. tolerating my human condition is part of my assignment as i move forward into my SEVENTH STEP, as tolerance leads to acceptance. and as the reading clearly points out, acceptance is the key to humility.
so where does that leave me today? well practice, practice and more practice may not get me to Carnegie Hall, but it will certainly lead me to a place of greater humility. i can accept this morning that as the word practice implies, i cannot and will not do anything as daunting as tolerance of myself, perfectly. i will do the best i can, as i prepare to get ready to humbly ask to have my shortcomings removed. today i can be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem that applies to myself as well as the world around me. i know that my internal storms and crises, are reflected in my interactions with the world around me, so bit by bit, inch by inch, i will do what i can to foster a sense of peace within and see where it leads.
so off to see how little damage i can do to the world around me.

∞ DT ∞