Blog entry for:

today, i will face the world as myself.
this morning i could have written this from the comfort of my home office, instead i chose to take care of another responsibility, so the bumpy ride is the consequence of that decision, hopefully i will not regret that.
as i pondered my day, i was touched by a thought of how blessed my life is today. the past four days have been quite full of surprises as well as planned family events. right now i am cramped between a window and someone who does not fit in the seat next to me, it is however only a petty frustration and one that i can live with for the next thirty minutes or so.
a fine little whine, and no cheese for you!
yes, i am living the best possible life i can, much better than i ever imagined possible, but today is not about gratitude, although i feel grateful, this morning i am focused on who i really am, and not who i want to appear to be. as the sun rises, i wonder if i will ever be free from my desire to look like more of anything. more successful, more spiritual, more serene, or just plain more. that is.her my task today, to let go of how i look in the eyes of others. i know it is possible and i know why i hold on to it, i still have feelings of being less than everyone else. no of my matter how many times someone tells me i am a vital part their life, i still have this nagging notion that they are not being honest, after all …
so focusing on tolerating who i am today is the start of that process. i am sure i can do that, as tolerance is not quite as difficult as it once was. shutting down the judge, jury and executioner that is the part of me i call addiction can be done, by remembering where i am going and looking at the journey and not my perceived destination. tolerance can become acceptance as i look past how much i am not. finally, acceptance can become surrender if i allow myself the freedom to be who i am. quite a simple progression, nothing too difficult and although i would like to modify all of that with a quick put-down, lest i become less humble, this morning i will not.
so where am i? Broomfield of course, and well upon the adventure that today will become. it is a good day to let go of my expectations and just be. i can do that, and i also can allow myself to listen to the part of me that is my TRUE self and do whatever comes up. time to hold on and enjoy the ride that today is already becoming. i am okay and so much more, right here and right now.

∞ DT ∞