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if i doubt this, i can just imagine what the world would be like if no one bothered to be of service to others. i am sure the world would be a much colder, more hostile environment in which to live. here on the last day of 2007 i sit pondering how i am of service today, not just to the fellowship that has given me this new manner of living, but also to the world around me. the biggest service i provide these days, is that i am clean today. a life of recovery has without a doubt been a life of service to the world in general. no longer am i taking whatever i think i am entitled to, or need to, just to fill the void that active addiction created within me. so in this respect i am of service these days.
i can think of other instances i am sure, but am hardly in the mood to blow my own horn today. i heard enough of that at the meeting last night, and some of it was coming from my own mouth, so it goes …
&helip; so what i am in the mood for this morning is to ponder the nature of serving the world, my family, my clients and the fellowship that has provided me the desire to even think about giving rather than taking. i was thinking about an inventory of my motives for staying clean, and i just decided that perhaps they are not as pure as i would like them to be. staying clean allows me to live in a very comfortable lifestyle, one that i have become accustomed to living. and yes i will not not get on some high horse here, i am talking about the material success that has come my way as a result of getting and staying clean. i would love to dismiss the need i have for creature comforts but to do so would be disingenuous at best. so instead i think i will just be grateful for them and acknowledge them for what they are, the result of doing a few days in a row in recovery. staying clean allows them to continue, and if push came to shove, i could probably stay clean if i lost everything. not that i am asking to lose everything today. so by serving the world by staying clean and being an active part of my recovery, i get a reward, and GAWD how i hate to return the the whole reward and punishment system of thinking. intellectually, i can get away from that paradigm, but honestly as a human being, i do not believe that i can avoid doing things out of self-interest. so i will just acknowledge that unpleasant truth and move forward into my day.
it is good to be clean today, and i will look for more opportunities to be of service to the world around me, after all, it is the best i can do today!

∞ DT ∞