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my faith in a Higher Power is growing, my spiritual awakening is progressing comfortably. so now what? that always seems to be the question that is on my mind. that and sometimes is this all there is? as i have grown over this past year, i have has the opportunity to revisit all the various relationships in my life, as well as all of my opportunities and commitments to serve. as i ponder that, serve who, pops into my mind, now you are some kind of waiter or <GASP> domestic help?
well sort of and not really. first and foremost i need to serve myself, feeding myself from the table of active recovery. part of my growth process over the past year,, that is when i was not in active rebellion, was to look at those members who i respected and see what i i wanted and did not want from what they were offering. some had many gifts that i desired and i became closer to them, and some had very little that i did not have, and i distanced myself from them. as a result i came to see a path towards becoming the person that i have always wanted, and who GOD probably intends for me, to be.
so after eating generously from the table of active recovery, i have reevaluated who i do and do not respect, and the results were quite surprising to me, but it is what it is. with that growth, came a greater understanding about who and why i serve. motives for service is a topic for another day, as there are at least one reading in the annual cycle, that speaks to this specifically. so where i think i need to go, is what and who i can serve today. my sponse and i actually touched on this topic when we met a week ago in the context of cleaning up the end of my NINTH Step and moving me into the TENTH. what has been rolling around in my head for the past week, is am i truly being of service in the places i need to serve. can i redirect my service efforts towards something closer to home, and not necessarily to the fellowship that i gratefully accept the gifts of recovery from. not that i am going to go out today and seek some sort of volunteer gig, nor am i going to be hunting up any more work. BUT, what i can do, is to do the work in front of me, accurately, expeditiously and gratefully. i can also look to be a greater contributor to the welfare of my family and friends, spiritually and emotionally present for them. in other words, continue to do what i have been doing, but notching it up a level.
and on that vein, it is time for me to go take care of myself and get some mileage on my running shoes, as i am not very good at predicting the future, i better get as many runs in as i can before i fly away to Centaral America. so adiós mis amigos.

∞ DT ∞