freedom of choice
Posted: Wed, Oct 20, 2004 04:17:59 AM
what a scary concept. although i once believed that i had freedom to choose how and what i did, my actions were dictated solely by what i needed to do to get HIGH.
today this is the very issue that i struggle with. i want someone or something to make my choices for me so i have something to blame when things do not work out the way i like them. blame was one of my defense mechanisms and it still operates under the surface. i chafe under the yoke of authority and yet there i can still derive some comfort from the freedom of making choosing a course of action. i still want someone else to work my steps for me and tell me what is wrong in my life.
thank GOD, that i am not so consumed by the FEAR of freedom of choice that i can choose to recover, make choices and accept the responsibility and consequences fo those choices and NOT HAVE TO USE as a result. i can live with freedom of choice as well as freedom from active addiction today.
-- DT --
today this is the very issue that i struggle with. i want someone or something to make my choices for me so i have something to blame when things do not work out the way i like them. blame was one of my defense mechanisms and it still operates under the surface. i chafe under the yoke of authority and yet there i can still derive some comfort from the freedom of making choosing a course of action. i still want someone else to work my steps for me and tell me what is wrong in my life.
thank GOD, that i am not so consumed by the FEAR of freedom of choice that i can choose to recover, make choices and accept the responsibility and consequences fo those choices and NOT HAVE TO USE as a result. i can live with freedom of choice as well as freedom from active addiction today.
-- DT --