Blog entry for:
Sat, Oct 20, 2012 04:49:51 PM
+ as difficult as it may seem ,
posted: Sat, Oct 20, 2012 04:49:51 PM
i must make choices for myself and become willing to accept the consequences. so yes, in active addiction i lived my life by default and yes in recovery, i have tries to pass decision-making over to someone else. when i choose not to decide, i still have made a choice!
writing this, so far into my day, i have quite a different perspective on my life today and as part of my step working process, i am making conscious decisions, yes choice, to alter my daily routine. those alterations, are supposed to be building up a tolerance for change and based on the events in my life lately, it is certainly working. one of the choices i made this week was to text my sponse, instead of calling him. i did not want to get the suggestion, that we should meet soon, BUT, he still texted me back those very words. sometimes, i succeed in getting what i NEED, even as i am trying so actively to avoid it.
now that Rush song is stuck in my head, that is what i get for lifting something without attribution, but i digress.
today, what choices have i made. well i did not step out of my routine very far. i worked, i went to a meeting, but i also had a massage and am going off to meet a sponsee, as soon as i finish writing this. so just enough of conscious change to get by. what do i want? well, i am approaching the point where i am ready to have all those things, traits and defects removed that block me from becoming the man i want to be. i am also approaching a place where i want to once again, step up and take responsibility for my life, at least those parts that are in my control and are part of the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery. what does that mean. well for today, it means listening with an open mind, to whatever my sponsee has to offer and providing feedback from my heart and not my head. it means coming home and being present for the love of my life. and it means paying attention to the clock, so i can be on-time, and ready to roll, and the clock on the wall says it is time to hit the dusty trail. it is a great day to be an active part of my life and for that i am grateful.
writing this, so far into my day, i have quite a different perspective on my life today and as part of my step working process, i am making conscious decisions, yes choice, to alter my daily routine. those alterations, are supposed to be building up a tolerance for change and based on the events in my life lately, it is certainly working. one of the choices i made this week was to text my sponse, instead of calling him. i did not want to get the suggestion, that we should meet soon, BUT, he still texted me back those very words. sometimes, i succeed in getting what i NEED, even as i am trying so actively to avoid it.
now that Rush song is stuck in my head, that is what i get for lifting something without attribution, but i digress.
today, what choices have i made. well i did not step out of my routine very far. i worked, i went to a meeting, but i also had a massage and am going off to meet a sponsee, as soon as i finish writing this. so just enough of conscious change to get by. what do i want? well, i am approaching the point where i am ready to have all those things, traits and defects removed that block me from becoming the man i want to be. i am also approaching a place where i want to once again, step up and take responsibility for my life, at least those parts that are in my control and are part of the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery. what does that mean. well for today, it means listening with an open mind, to whatever my sponsee has to offer and providing feedback from my heart and not my head. it means coming home and being present for the love of my life. and it means paying attention to the clock, so i can be on-time, and ready to roll, and the clock on the wall says it is time to hit the dusty trail. it is a great day to be an active part of my life and for that i am grateful.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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α freedom of choice is a wonderful gift, but it is also a great responsibility. ω 519 words ➥ Saturday, October 20, 2007 by: donnot
α i am responsible for my own recovery and my own choices. ω 583 words ➥ Monday, October 20, 2008 by: donnot
∏ if i do not use the gift of freedom of choice that i have been given, ∏ 462 words ➥ Tuesday, October 20, 2009 by: donnot
• in active addiction, i often live my life by default • 431 words ➥ Wednesday, October 20, 2010 by: donnot
◊ enforced morality lacks the power that comes to me when ◊ 555 words ➥ Thursday, October 20, 2011 by: donnot
¹ today, i will accept responsibility for my recovery, ¹ 626 words ➥ Sunday, October 20, 2013 by: donnot
¿ i am grateful for … 877 words ➥ Monday, October 20, 2014 by: donnot
ℜ freedom to choose ℑ 480 words ➥ Tuesday, October 20, 2015 by: donnot
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🌫 being unwilling 🌫 736 words ➥ Friday, October 20, 2017 by: donnot
⚖ weighing my choices ⚖ 547 words ➥ Saturday, October 20, 2018 by: donnot
🤔 seeking the experience 🤯 411 words ➥ Sunday, October 20, 2019 by: donnot
🤔 choosing to live 🤩 599 words ➥ Tuesday, October 20, 2020 by: donnot
😲 living 😲 253 words ➥ Wednesday, October 20, 2021 by: donnot
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🤐 anonymity 🤐 528 words ➥ Friday, October 20, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
3) Hence the sage is able (in the same way) to accomplish his great
achievements. It is through his not making himself great that he can
accomplish them.