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Fri, May 23, 2008 09:14:03 AM


μ in an effort to purge myself of the guilt i feel for what i have done …
posted: Fri, May 23, 2008 09:14:03 AM

 

i may be tempted to share with my loved ones, in gruesome detail, things that are better left unsaid. well i am glad that this reading does not talk about the shame i may or may not feel, as i look at the trail of pain and suffering i left in the wake of my active addiction and active recovery too! i am embarking on an Eighth Step at this very slice in time, and this reminder is a bit early, and yet almost too late. too late? well i do a Tenth step every night and thinking about where i may owe an amends is part of that process, also. i cannot think of anything that is keeping me up late at night, churning my guilty conscience these days, and this Eight Step should be more than an interesting one.
but enough of that. what the reading spoke to me about was the substitution of guilt with the cleansing feeling of the confessional. lovely way to make myself feel better at the expense of others. in fact that sounds creepily similar to some of my favorite behaviors that i used in addiction and still pop-up from time to time in my recovery. since this is really about learning to live without my defects and becoming the sort of person i was meant to be, i think i will take this advice to heart and see what good i can accomplish, and see what harm i can prevent, after all i do have control of how i behave!
so it is off to the errand mill, and into the breech, such as it were!

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

∞ amends and sponsors ∞ 313 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2005 by: donnot
α easing my guilty conscience or taking responsibility Ω 423 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 by: donnot
∞ i am not just seeking freedom from remorse ∞ 250 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2007 by: donnot
↔ i might as well face it, i left a trail of destruction in my wake ↔ 603 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2009 by: donnot
¢ i never again want to inflict harm on my loved ones ¢ 677 words ➥ Sunday, May 23, 2010 by: donnot
§ i want to be free of my guilt, but § 537 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2011 by: donnot
¦ i wish to accept responsibility for my actions ¦ 362 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2012 by: donnot
∗ the Ninth Step is not about easing my guilty conscience ∗ 433 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2013 by: donnot
≠ i might as well face it: ≠ 525 words ➥ Friday, May 23, 2014 by: donnot
« and may do little good » 674 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2015 by: donnot
∵ amends and ∴ 759 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2016 by: donnot
∫ not about easing ∬ 1008 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2017 by: donnot
🏚 affecting change 🏜 639 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2018 by: donnot
🏃 seeking freedom 🏃 560 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2019 by: donnot
🚔 my guilty conscience 🚓 242 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2020 by: donnot
🏁 at the expense 🏟 598 words ➥ Sunday, May 23, 2021 by: donnot
😶 accepting responsibility 😶 423 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2022 by: donnot
😵 maturity 😲 523 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2023 by: donnot
😭 inviting spiritual 🤭 439 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2024 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

2) (The infant's) bones are weak and its sinews soft, but yet its
grasp is firm. It knows not yet the union of male and female, and
yet its virile member may be excited;--showing the perfection of its
physical essence. All day long it will cry without its throat becoming
hoarse;--showing the harmony (in its constitution).