Blog entry for:
Thu, May 23, 2024 09:51:28 AM
😭 inviting spiritual 🤭
posted: Thu, May 23, 2024 09:51:28 AM
principles -- not impulse -- to guide my behavior., may be, as my source reading states, a symptom of maturity. i generally call it adulting, as i want to be seen as anything but mature. i am having difficulty accepting the results of my dental and physical exams, as the past two days have been amongst my worse, for quite some time. they really were not all that bad, it was just reality intruding on my comfortable sense of who i am and as always i do NOT like it. the fact is i am aging and i have been unable to exercise at the intensity that i grew accustomed to, before my injury in October. unfortunately that has not meant that i cut back on how much and what i eat. if i want to return to my fighting weight of 180, i am going to need to make some changes and like many of my peers, i loathe change that smacks of any sort of “giving something up for my own good.”
this morning as i entered the void, for the third day in a row, what i felt was a bit of peace and a bit of wonder why i need to be so worried about how my body happens to be aging, when i do have the ability to stay fit, if i apply the effort. that is of course, the catch. when i was running and hiking without limits, i felt good, even though i was overdoing it and cruising towards the injury that has had me mostly sidelined for the past seven months. when i return to peak form, i may just look at the frequency, distance and exertion and cut back a little bit, as i alter my diet to remove sugars, carbs and red meat. not eliminate as that would drive me into a state of rebellion against privation, but comfortably reduce to more manageable levels. i guess that might be seen as a symptom of maturity as well.
today, i have decided it is my backyard office for me, rather than the trip to the cigar store. the season is upon me and i am grateful that i can use my patio as my home office, now that it has warmed up. i know i have stuff to do and to rail about something that i have the power to change, but choose not to, is certainly a symptom of my immaturity and just for today, i will evaluate which side of the coin, things fall on.
this morning as i entered the void, for the third day in a row, what i felt was a bit of peace and a bit of wonder why i need to be so worried about how my body happens to be aging, when i do have the ability to stay fit, if i apply the effort. that is of course, the catch. when i was running and hiking without limits, i felt good, even though i was overdoing it and cruising towards the injury that has had me mostly sidelined for the past seven months. when i return to peak form, i may just look at the frequency, distance and exertion and cut back a little bit, as i alter my diet to remove sugars, carbs and red meat. not eliminate as that would drive me into a state of rebellion against privation, but comfortably reduce to more manageable levels. i guess that might be seen as a symptom of maturity as well.
today, i have decided it is my backyard office for me, rather than the trip to the cigar store. the season is upon me and i am grateful that i can use my patio as my home office, now that it has warmed up. i know i have stuff to do and to rail about something that i have the power to change, but choose not to, is certainly a symptom of my immaturity and just for today, i will evaluate which side of the coin, things fall on.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ amends and sponsors ∞ 313 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2005 by: donnotα easing my guilty conscience or taking responsibility Ω 423 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 by: donnot
∞ i am not just seeking freedom from remorse ∞ 250 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2007 by: donnot
μ in an effort to purge myself of the guilt i feel for what i have done … 288 words ➥ Friday, May 23, 2008 by: donnot
↔ i might as well face it, i left a trail of destruction in my wake ↔ 603 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2009 by: donnot
¢ i never again want to inflict harm on my loved ones ¢ 677 words ➥ Sunday, May 23, 2010 by: donnot
§ i want to be free of my guilt, but § 537 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2011 by: donnot
¦ i wish to accept responsibility for my actions ¦ 362 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2012 by: donnot
∗ the Ninth Step is not about easing my guilty conscience ∗ 433 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2013 by: donnot
≠ i might as well face it: ≠ 525 words ➥ Friday, May 23, 2014 by: donnot
« and may do little good » 674 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2015 by: donnot
∵ amends and ∴ 759 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2016 by: donnot
∫ not about easing ∬ 1008 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2017 by: donnot
🏚 affecting change 🏜 639 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2018 by: donnot
🏃 seeking freedom 🏃 560 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2019 by: donnot
🚔 my guilty conscience 🚓 242 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2020 by: donnot
🏁 at the expense 🏟 598 words ➥ Sunday, May 23, 2021 by: donnot
😶 accepting responsibility 😶 423 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2022 by: donnot
😵 maturity 😲 523 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
3) The sage has in the world an appearance of indecision, and keeps
his mind in a state of indifference to all. The people all keep their
eyes and ears directed to him, and he deals with them all as his children.