Blog entry for:

used to keep me up at night, at least once i got clean and no longer could ease the pain of my daily mistakes with a little drop of poison. i know that amends are not part of a process to make me feel better for what i did, or do. no, they are part of the process to forgive myself for doing that crap, and correct the damage created, without causing more damage, making excuses or shifting the burden of forgiveness onto the person to whom i owe that amends. living a program of recovery, as outlined in the TWELVE STEPS, certainly keeps the number of amends i need to make, when i get around to another NINTH STEP, reduced to minimal levels.
today, i am getting used to the notion that i have cancer and it will not kill me, but all i can do is watch what happens, as the days go by. i have a life to live and i am not about to stop doing what i have been doing to keep that life worth living. acceptance of what i am and where i am going are the watch words for this addict today, as he moves into taking care of what needs to be taken care of, in my recovery, around the house and in my personal fitness programs, spiritual and physical.

∞ DT ∞