ฮผ though i may practice my program somewhat differently with ten years clean than with ten months โฆ
Posted: Sun, Jun 29, 2008 08:55:07 AM
this does not mean the program has changed or become less important, only that my practical understanding has changed and grown. so what exactly did i hear this bright and early Sunday morning as i pondered this particular entry. well a couple of things, the first was the whole i cannot afford to be complacent about my recovery trip. although i agree with this sentiment, sometimes i tire of people using this argument against me as some sort of guilt trip. in fact, these days i am hardly complacent in my program, and i could go into quite an inventory about how i live the program in my day to day affairs, but it would be a pointless exercise. how i work a program, shows up in my life, and honestly, if i find those in my life drawing away from me, then that is more than likely a sign, not from ‘on high’, that i need to be a bit more diligent in living my program. if i find myself pulling away from the fellowship, or dreading a recovery activity, then i need to examine my program for the cause. it is more than likely that i am suffering from a contagious bout of intolerance and i need to apply a few spiritual principles in my life again.
but enough of that theme, i had no intention of spouting off so long about that, what i really heard this morning is about how my view of the program i need to work has changed over the course of my recovery. since i have been doing this gig, it only makes sense, that some things that were appropriate in my first year of recovery are no longer appropriate now. yes, i was one of those who needed to attend a meeting every single day, and felt strangely disconnected when i could not. a meeting a day is no longer appropriate for me. yes it would be nice to have thew luxury to spend an hour away from the world in thee comfort of recovering addicts, and yes if i chose to i could probably make the time to do so. instead i practice responsibility and self-support, working and then playing, so that i can live my life in the manner i have grown accustomed to, and enjoy being in my own skin. i have found that i can be quite comfortable at two or three meetings a week and make it a point to attend those meetings on a very regular basis. i know the cliché meeting makers make it, but i know more than one addict in recovery that attends daily meetings and yet has nothing that i desire. meeting attendance, just like clean time does not equal recovery. these days, i choose where to apply myself on a daily basis and i am quite happy with the pace and progress of this ongoing process. i do not believe that daily meeting attendance would make this process go any faster or be any more effective, so i do what i can and i get what i get, and form, sitting down with a sponsee or a friend, and just talking is of greater value in my recovery process than an hour in a meeting, but that is just my stuff. as a matter of fact, the time has come for me to sign-off and head out to work out and if you are reading this wondering if i go to any meetings at all, you will find me at the 6:00 meeting here in town with a copy of the Basic Text, ready to participate, see you there!
but enough of that theme, i had no intention of spouting off so long about that, what i really heard this morning is about how my view of the program i need to work has changed over the course of my recovery. since i have been doing this gig, it only makes sense, that some things that were appropriate in my first year of recovery are no longer appropriate now. yes, i was one of those who needed to attend a meeting every single day, and felt strangely disconnected when i could not. a meeting a day is no longer appropriate for me. yes it would be nice to have thew luxury to spend an hour away from the world in thee comfort of recovering addicts, and yes if i chose to i could probably make the time to do so. instead i practice responsibility and self-support, working and then playing, so that i can live my life in the manner i have grown accustomed to, and enjoy being in my own skin. i have found that i can be quite comfortable at two or three meetings a week and make it a point to attend those meetings on a very regular basis. i know the cliché meeting makers make it, but i know more than one addict in recovery that attends daily meetings and yet has nothing that i desire. meeting attendance, just like clean time does not equal recovery. these days, i choose where to apply myself on a daily basis and i am quite happy with the pace and progress of this ongoing process. i do not believe that daily meeting attendance would make this process go any faster or be any more effective, so i do what i can and i get what i get, and form, sitting down with a sponsee or a friend, and just talking is of greater value in my recovery process than an hour in a meeting, but that is just my stuff. as a matter of fact, the time has come for me to sign-off and head out to work out and if you are reading this wondering if i go to any meetings at all, you will find me at the 6:00 meeting here in town with a copy of the Basic Text, ready to participate, see you there!
∞ DT ∞