Blog entry for:
Tue, May 5, 2009 10:01:48 AM
Σ my best thinking, it is often said, got me into the rooms. Σ
posted: Tue, May 5, 2009 10:01:48 AM
if i am willing to go to any lengths, follow directions, and stay open-minded, i can stay clean. this is an excellent reading for me this morning, as i have been having lessons in open-mindedness galore lately. yes i could go on about the object lessons that have been provided by the behavior of other members, but today i really do not need go there, i have certainly more than enough examples in my own life. nor do i need to go into how unwilling i see others being to do what bit takes, as i am there also. following directions, why on Earth do i need to do that, i have been at this long enough, i must know how to do it by now.
all ogf that may be true, but there is one glaring fact that i have not accounted for, that being that i am an addict through and through,, and ALL i get is a temporary respite from from the horrors of active addiction. yes i know that sounds so grim and hopeless, but for me, such a statement is the source of HOPE. if i remember that one fact, that one, single, overarching TRUTH about me, then all can be well. because from that admission comes the source of my willingness to do what it takes to stay clean today. to actually have the desire to go to any lengths today. of course that is quite easy to say, and honestly it almost feels like an oxymoron, after all, i have been doing this for a bit of time, and that thought is the enemy of my continued recovery. when i start to think i know the TRUTH, or anything similar to that, then i am certain to be on the path to using again. it is true i see and understand more of the TRUTH than i did yesterday and certainly much more than i did when i first got clean, although back then, i would have told i KNEW the TRUTH beyond a shadow of a doubt. today what i know to be true, for sure is that i am an addict, the rest is subject to change as i acquire more information.
so anyhow, it is off to the showers and into the real world for me. it is a good day to recover and to be willing and open-minded. i go forth with that thought on my mind.
all ogf that may be true, but there is one glaring fact that i have not accounted for, that being that i am an addict through and through,, and ALL i get is a temporary respite from from the horrors of active addiction. yes i know that sounds so grim and hopeless, but for me, such a statement is the source of HOPE. if i remember that one fact, that one, single, overarching TRUTH about me, then all can be well. because from that admission comes the source of my willingness to do what it takes to stay clean today. to actually have the desire to go to any lengths today. of course that is quite easy to say, and honestly it almost feels like an oxymoron, after all, i have been doing this for a bit of time, and that thought is the enemy of my continued recovery. when i start to think i know the TRUTH, or anything similar to that, then i am certain to be on the path to using again. it is true i see and understand more of the TRUTH than i did yesterday and certainly much more than i did when i first got clean, although back then, i would have told i KNEW the TRUTH beyond a shadow of a doubt. today what i know to be true, for sure is that i am an addict, the rest is subject to change as i acquire more information.
so anyhow, it is off to the showers and into the real world for me. it is a good day to recover and to be willing and open-minded. i go forth with that thought on my mind.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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« my best thinking, it is often said, » 803 words ➥ Monday, May 5, 2014 by: donnot
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∘ become as ∘ 603 words ➥ Thursday, May 5, 2016 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
1) The partial becomes complete; the crooked, straight; the empty,
full; the worn out, new. He whose (desires) are few gets them; he
whose (desires) are many goes astray.