Some memes

for all of life*s challenges was once one of the most ignorant notions i had ever heard. when i got clean and even after i came to recovery, every time one of my peers would share how grateful they were for the shit that was their current life, i had to restrain myself from laughing out loud. who the fVck is “grateful” for “bad” stuff happening in their life and if they were grateful, were they at sane? it took about five years or so, before i started to begin to understand that maybe they had a point and maybe i might need to look a bit closer at that notion. as i sat this morning, in those moments when the internal dialogue overwhelmed the quiet, what kept coming up was if i was really grateful for all that it took to reach this point in time, the good, the bad and the ugly? that question has yet to be answered but that really is not all that important. what is important here, is that i actually asked and became open-minded and willing enough to “listen” for the response.
moving on, i had to call the cops on my neighbor's consonantly barking dog. i am not a real rat, although i have reported my fair share of abandoned cars on my neighborhood streets, but never turn in my neighbors for the stuff that is a little more than annoying. that poor dog barked constantly for at least three hours on Wednesday afternoon and six hours yesterday. i may not be a veterinarian, but i am pretty sure that sort of behavior is nowhere close to any healthy and happy dog. my intent was nit to get my neighbors in trouble, but to get something done to help that suffering animal. what happens next is out of my hands, but i do have the ways and means to escalate this, if need be. i am hoping it does not come down to the “next steps,” and my neighbors figure out how to make their dogs happier when their humans are not home.
the answer to my esoteric question has yet to be revealed, but as i sit here, coming to the end of this little exercise i can certainly see that many of the struggles i had in the past, especially in my spiritual path, have led to a very deep and abiding FAITH as well as an activity that might certainly make me appear to be some sort of guru in the eyes of my peers. what i “know” is that it took ten years to learn how to meditate and the fact i did not give up and say “fVck it,” which is my default behavior when things get tough, certainly make me grateful today for a practice is both wide and deep. it is time to get to work and figure out where the bug is, in my team mate's code,as that seems to be a very good manner in which to spend my Friday, at least for right now.

∞ DT ∞