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looking at life and all its details, all at once, may be overwhelming. when i am overwhelmed, i think that maybe i cannot handle life after all and that it is useless to try.
this is one of those **WELL DUH** readings for me. of course i cannot handle all of the problems in life today, of course if i do what is put in front of me, i will stop feeling overwhelmed and of course if i pull back into the here and now and let the POWER that keeps me clean, take care of me, i see a way out of all the dilemmas i see in my life. of course that actually means that i NEED to hear all of this and be reminded of HOW i do this gig, one minutes at a time if necessary.
it is one of the saddest things i see in newcomers, the day their **pink cloud** dissipates into the harsh realities of life. i actually think early recovery is easier for those members who do not get the **pink cloud,** as they start to face life a whole lot faster and with a greater grasp on reality. the reading is not specifically about the whole pink cloud gig, but for some reason it speaks to me on that level. why that may be is a mystery to me, and one that does not need to be solved. for me, i like living in a pink cloud, floating above the mundane world in a warm and fuzzy place. i was not one of those who got to experience that in my early recovery and i had many life issues to deal with wit hin the first nine months of this gig. so when i have moments of floating above it all these days. i cherish them and move on. i know at this point in my recovery it is no pink cloud, merely a respite from the here and now. life with all of its twists and turns comes back soon enough, and any vacation, no matter how brief is another tool in my arsenal against the desire to use. i look to life as a gift. having problems as well as having successes, finding a nasty wart as well as seeing myself as something new and different is all part of the process of living. using prevented me from living in the real world, and even though that world can be harsh at times, the alternatives are not acceptable to me today. i gratefully accept another day clean, on the right side of the dirt, with all its trials and tribulations and well as its joys and successes, that is the beauty of living a program of recovery, i get a better glimpse of the BIG picture of my life. so it is off to the streets to see if i can get a jump on life today!

∞ DT ∞