Blog entry for:

at a time, i can get through whatever i need to get through, today. i have reached a place in my life today, where i have been feeling overwhelmed and overly concerned about a whole lot of things. for the next week, however, i am going away on vacation and taking a vacation from all of that crap that is weighing heavily on my mind. i do not have a job offer, i am having trouble accepting some of my family members as they are and i am not sure of who i am. flying off to somewhere different with my spouse, i GET the opportunity to be okay with letting things go and seeing what happens.
this morning, as i prepare for my major downtime, i am still all up in my own shit trying to orchestrate everything i think i need to have my fingers in, before i can let go and the results are far from calming. turning it over is becoming something i seem to have to do with every breath i take, even though there really is not that much left for me to do. i got some miles in, met with one of the men that calls me his sponsor and have time to relax before i mow the lawn, take the dawg to the pet spa and visit with my Mom. i guess what i am saying, is that i have very little to accomplish, a long time to get it done and not doing a very good job of easing into it.
-- calming breath --
ahhh, i am grateful that the pandemic has eased up enough that we feel comfortable traveling and making plans for two months in the future. i am grateful that i have a job that will last through August, so my scramble to find a new gig is not quite as weighty as i am making it seem. instead of looking at what is not, i guess in need to draw back into the what is. there is no reason for me to be anything else, just for today.

∞ DT ∞