โ i live a day at a time but also from moment to moment โ
Posted: Tue, May 31, 2011 09:01:57 AM
when i stop living in the here and now, my problems become magnified unreasonably.
i once took this to mean, that i made no plans for my day. which is more or less how i lived my life in active addiction, there was ONE plan back then, and i spontaneously changed what i was doing to accommodate that ONE plan, in real-time, as the events of my day unfolded. so although i lived moment by moment to get what i needed, i missed all those moments between.
i understand that today, my life is only comprised of a string of here and nows, and if i am unable to be present for them, i lose out on what is happening, forever. that means make plans, heck even obsess a little bit about them, BUT do not let those plans interfere with what i happening NOW, and alter those plans based what ii is i perceive. much easier said than done. it definitely is an exercise is esoteric release, and i guess if i think about it, a place in my THIRD STEP that i can explore and feel comfortable about. my plan today, has already been altered from the plan i had set in motion when i got up and became aware of the world around me. quite honestly i am not quite sure that it will not flip one or more two times as the day goes on, and that is okay, as that is life in the real world.
on a totally different note, looking back at my times across the Bolder Boulder i found one way back in 1995 of just shy of 51 minutes. man it sucks that the years of aging have to be removed by the years of recovery. it does set a goal for me to aim for now, namely to train to remove that record, no not the actual result, the part of it being my personal best. which means that if i have a goal in mind, i need to get help to achieve that goal,m one way or another. so as i consider the ramifications of my desire to be better than i was when i was using, i think i will jump into the shower and get ready for today, BTW i am going to run another race in 11 days and see how well i can do it it. Saturday June 11, 2011, the Sunrise Stampede in longmont, here i come!
so off to the…
i once took this to mean, that i made no plans for my day. which is more or less how i lived my life in active addiction, there was ONE plan back then, and i spontaneously changed what i was doing to accommodate that ONE plan, in real-time, as the events of my day unfolded. so although i lived moment by moment to get what i needed, i missed all those moments between.
i understand that today, my life is only comprised of a string of here and nows, and if i am unable to be present for them, i lose out on what is happening, forever. that means make plans, heck even obsess a little bit about them, BUT do not let those plans interfere with what i happening NOW, and alter those plans based what ii is i perceive. much easier said than done. it definitely is an exercise is esoteric release, and i guess if i think about it, a place in my THIRD STEP that i can explore and feel comfortable about. my plan today, has already been altered from the plan i had set in motion when i got up and became aware of the world around me. quite honestly i am not quite sure that it will not flip one or more two times as the day goes on, and that is okay, as that is life in the real world.
on a totally different note, looking back at my times across the Bolder Boulder i found one way back in 1995 of just shy of 51 minutes. man it sucks that the years of aging have to be removed by the years of recovery. it does set a goal for me to aim for now, namely to train to remove that record, no not the actual result, the part of it being my personal best. which means that if i have a goal in mind, i need to get help to achieve that goal,m one way or another. so as i consider the ramifications of my desire to be better than i was when i was using, i think i will jump into the shower and get ready for today, BTW i am going to run another race in 11 days and see how well i can do it it. Saturday June 11, 2011, the Sunrise Stampede in longmont, here i come!
so off to the…
∞ DT ∞