Blog entry for:

when i open our ears, i hear other addicts talk of applying spiritual principles that promise hope to meas well, regardless of my personal goals. okay before i get rolling i almost had a heart attack last night. in a meeting, a member who has years clean, shared that they wanted what i had. why was this so surprising to me? well this member has yet to work a single step, is what his sponsor call his imaginary sponsee, and generally prefaces what they share by "we are or you have to;" when he shares.
so imagine the nature of my emotional state when i read this particular ditty in my annual cycle. a reminder that although i share many things with many members, we are each unique, have different problems, and have to account for those differences in our unique manner of recovery programs. who am i to judge the quality of another member’s program, except by how i see them behave, and if i do not want to behave in that manner, THEN I NEED to work through my stuff, in my own unique manner, with my sponsor, my closed-mouth friends, and those whom i trust and love. it is my task to identify what it is in me that needs to be let go of and surrendered into the care of the POWER that keeps me clean. that other stuff? well if that member truly wants what i have, then perhaps he will do what i have done. there is no mystery in that. i have chosen, at least the past few years or so, to truly do my best to incorporate the spiritual principles that i have been given, into my daily life. i do better some days than others, that much is true, and i have been known to bit less than diplomatic when i am practicing something new. all of that aside, what it really boils down to is, that i work steps with a sponsor, i go to meetings, and i do what i can to actually listen to what those around me are saying. the last part is more than a bit tricky for me, as i have trouble listening to those for whom i have little respect, BUT i am learning that even those people have a message for me from the POWER that keeps me clean today.
what else am i feeling this morning? well a sense of gratitude that i actually have a path in my life, that allows me the creative freedom to be transformed into the man i have always wanted to be. i am also feeling like being a lazy slob -- playing computer games and smoking cigars on the veranda all day long. i am however a bit more responsible than that, so i think that i will do my light day workout, take a shower and see how much of the work on my desk i can get completed. so dear friends, it is once again time to be off into the breech.

∞ DT ∞