ยค in the fellowship, i see others who have found they needed to change โฆ
Posted: Sun, Sep 20, 2009 09:23:34 AM
what they were doing and who have done so successfully. this also gives me the benefit of their experience with what does work, experience i can use in changing what does not.
quite an emotional day yesterday, and one that left me with a dilemma. i have been asked to step up and start working on a solution for a problem that is close to me heart. the problem is, that doing so puts me in a service situation with someone i need to outshout or game into listening to my ideas. someone who says they respect me, than acts in the same manner as always. i could quite easily say no and walk away, and that was my very first instinct. instead i said i need to think about and called my sponse and let it go until this morning. not that i am obsessing about it right now, but writing about what is going on in my pointy little head is part of my decision-making process at times. now that i look at it, this whole step cycle has been about decision-making for me, and here i am working on finalizing that spanking new process, or at least finishing the final assembly for this go around. i can and do see the irony in what i am writing this morning, and it really is quite delicious.
so back to the issue at hand. basically for me, do the ends justify the means? do i walk into a situation where i know i will have to behave in a manner contrary to my ideals, just because i can do what i really want to do? do i sacrifice my integrity on the altar of efficiency and expediency, or do i walk into a situation that will be fraught with frustration, anger and disrespect, because it is the right thing to do. so in actuality there a couple of dilemmas that i need to resolve -- walk away or walk into the service position. if i walk into the service position act with integrity but live with the frustration on not doing what i know is right or act like a politician maneuvering my opponent into corners that only allow for the outcomes i desire?
as always, there is always a third way out of the dilemma, by not choosing either horn and facing the bull head on. that choice would entail a real conversation, the outcome of which is hardly assured, and one that will probably not be received with any grace or panache. there i go, projecting an outcome to avoid doing what i really need to do. i guess i have made a decision -- confront the rhetorical bull head on, and not allow myself to be deal with horns at all. after having the unpleasant c0onversation, then make the decision about whether of not i can proceed into that service commitment.
my task is now to let go, and allow this possible decision path to percolate through me. i will intuitively know whether this is the correct thing for me to do or not, and will have the information to correctly assess and decide the direction i will need to take to do the next right thing.
so out to trot around the neighborhood with the dawg, and then time to get some work done, maybe some broncos time and a meeting for sure. quite a full day and one that will be a good one i am sure, if i allow what needs to happen, to happen.
quite an emotional day yesterday, and one that left me with a dilemma. i have been asked to step up and start working on a solution for a problem that is close to me heart. the problem is, that doing so puts me in a service situation with someone i need to outshout or game into listening to my ideas. someone who says they respect me, than acts in the same manner as always. i could quite easily say no and walk away, and that was my very first instinct. instead i said i need to think about and called my sponse and let it go until this morning. not that i am obsessing about it right now, but writing about what is going on in my pointy little head is part of my decision-making process at times. now that i look at it, this whole step cycle has been about decision-making for me, and here i am working on finalizing that spanking new process, or at least finishing the final assembly for this go around. i can and do see the irony in what i am writing this morning, and it really is quite delicious.
so back to the issue at hand. basically for me, do the ends justify the means? do i walk into a situation where i know i will have to behave in a manner contrary to my ideals, just because i can do what i really want to do? do i sacrifice my integrity on the altar of efficiency and expediency, or do i walk into a situation that will be fraught with frustration, anger and disrespect, because it is the right thing to do. so in actuality there a couple of dilemmas that i need to resolve -- walk away or walk into the service position. if i walk into the service position act with integrity but live with the frustration on not doing what i know is right or act like a politician maneuvering my opponent into corners that only allow for the outcomes i desire?
as always, there is always a third way out of the dilemma, by not choosing either horn and facing the bull head on. that choice would entail a real conversation, the outcome of which is hardly assured, and one that will probably not be received with any grace or panache. there i go, projecting an outcome to avoid doing what i really need to do. i guess i have made a decision -- confront the rhetorical bull head on, and not allow myself to be deal with horns at all. after having the unpleasant c0onversation, then make the decision about whether of not i can proceed into that service commitment.
my task is now to let go, and allow this possible decision path to percolate through me. i will intuitively know whether this is the correct thing for me to do or not, and will have the information to correctly assess and decide the direction i will need to take to do the next right thing.
so out to trot around the neighborhood with the dawg, and then time to get some work done, maybe some broncos time and a meeting for sure. quite a full day and one that will be a good one i am sure, if i allow what needs to happen, to happen.
∞ DT ∞