Blog entry for:

today, i HAVE TO accept that it is late January and that means snow and cold. i am not a winter guy and am hardly fond of the snow, BUT, our locale could use the moisture, so looking for a silver lining in this cloud, helps me to let go of what i cannot change. that is a perfect example of what my source material was attempting to put forward. it is much easier to write this little exercise, first thing in the morning, as it is all about me. today, however, that did not quite work out, as i had steps to get under my snow boots and a dawg that enjoys a daily walk. the end result is that i have been to a meeting, traveled the slick and snow streets to get there, heard a whole lot more about meds that i am comfortable with hearing and had someone in my way, as i re-arranged the snow around my house. all of that i may have had some power over, but chose to accept things as they played out. so it goes …
now that i have a minute to sit and reflect, as i have nothing left to accomplish today, i can sincerely say that acceptance did not feel as if it was part of my DNA. it active addiction, in mere abstinence and in my early recovery, i attempted to bend the world to my will and got toxically angry, when i could not. it took more than a course of steps and some clean time, to come to a place where i could finally let go and go with the flow. it took even longer to see that going with the flow, was a good thing and all i had to do, is look for something other than what i expected to okay with what was happening. listening to my peers naming their psyche meds and speaking about seeking them out, did not trigger me, but i was more than a bit squirmy in my chair. i knew that in that moment, the best thing i could do, for me and only me, was to listen and see if there was anything i could add to that discussion. in that vein, there was very little ESH i could share. but i could and did share my experiences with the medical profession and where i ended-up, which was freed from their grips as soon as possible. i might not have been the most stable addict in recovery in those days, but at least i had nothing on board to block me from becoming more spiritually fit.
so i think it is time to post this little ditty, catch up with my social media and take a nap. my fitness tracker says i need eight hours of sleep toning, so maybe i can knock it down a bit and get into a better state of training readiness. it is a good day to look for a different perspective on my life and the world in which i live, just for today.

∞ DT ∞