โ service brings out both the best and the worst of me โ
Posted: Sat, Feb 13, 2010 08:35:26 AM
it is through service that i get in touch with some of my most pressing defects of character. while this is a good thing and provides loads of material for my daily inventory the drawback is the manner in which those defects are revealed. for me, it is a mirror effect, i others acting out and judge them quite harshly because they are acting in the manner that i WANT to act. the closer to the mark their behaviors come to something inside of me, the more judgmental i become. the more judgmental i become, the angrier i get, and then the rationalizations and justifications start to fly, and before i know it i am in a sh!tstorm of feelings, reactions and all sorts of nonspiritual behaviors.
in fact, today one of the many tasks i have before me, is to go to a service meeting and report on my activities over the past month. i will write an honest report, BUT what i need to do is to leave any emotional attachment to what others think their job is and what i have been told my job is behind and move forward into the spirit of service. in fact the next thing i am going to do, is to write me first draft of my report, before i go out running, then come back and revise as necessary. i am grateful for this reading this morning, because it reminds me of what STEPS 6 and 7 are all about, recognizing who i am, accepting that without reservations and allowing a POWER greater than me, to act in my life to remove those defects of character. my job is to do my vest not to react to the feelings that may arise, after all, to expect someone else to see or care how i am feeling is more than a little unfair.
so on that note, i do believe that report writing is the next right thing to do, and then into what i WANT to do this morning.
in fact, today one of the many tasks i have before me, is to go to a service meeting and report on my activities over the past month. i will write an honest report, BUT what i need to do is to leave any emotional attachment to what others think their job is and what i have been told my job is behind and move forward into the spirit of service. in fact the next thing i am going to do, is to write me first draft of my report, before i go out running, then come back and revise as necessary. i am grateful for this reading this morning, because it reminds me of what STEPS 6 and 7 are all about, recognizing who i am, accepting that without reservations and allowing a POWER greater than me, to act in my life to remove those defects of character. my job is to do my vest not to react to the feelings that may arise, after all, to expect someone else to see or care how i am feeling is more than a little unfair.
so on that note, i do believe that report writing is the next right thing to do, and then into what i WANT to do this morning.
∞ DT ∞